Sex Education and Abortion

When it comes to battles in the "culture war" not only do opposing sides yell over each other so much so that listening becomes pointless amidst the noise, but folks have their set "talking points" so mastered in their heads that different options never are discussed or explored. The best and most frustrating example of this is in the abortion debate.

With the skyrocketing rate of teenage pregnancies in our culture, you would think cools heads would prevail in trying to find a solution in reducing pregnancies among teens and this in turn would reduce the number of abortions. But cool heads never seem to prevail in the culture war and therefore accusations are thrown around and both sides play the blame game about why both teen pregnancies and abortion continue to exist and in great numbers here in our nation.

On the one hand you have those who believe sex is a given among young people and if we only have greater sex education available for our teens than things will change for the better. They want abortion to remain available of course, feeling it is a woman's right to choose what she does with her body and her unborn child or fetus. On the other side you have those who wish to overturn Roe V. Wade, feel abortion is murder, and yet at the same time want to promote abstinence education in school so kids follow the "just say no" mantra that is uses in the drug debate.

I have an alternative solution that I think will tick both sides off and therefore I think it is the best we can hope for in a pluralistic society such as ours. I'll start off with the abortion question first. Aside from the notion of late term abortions which I think the overwhelming majority of Americans are against, I think it is unreasonable to think that making abortion illegal is going to happen. Roe v. Wade for better or worse is the law of the land and unless there is overwhelming support to ban abortion, I think those opposed to abortion should best concentrate their efforts on reducing abortions and lowering teen pregnancies.

For those who think that sex education is the way to go since kids are going to have sex anyways, I have this observation to make. Has it ever occurred to those who are liberal and conservative for that matter that kids can have sexual gratification without risking getting pregnant? Though not a philosophy I endorse necessarily, I am smart enough to know that teens and young Christian people for that matter engage in what used to be called "heavy petting." It wasn't that long ago that young men knew there were certain limits he had with a young lady and he was not supposed to go any further. Is this not a reasonable approach to have even in this day and age?

I, myself, prefer the idea of having my children have dates in public settings, double date etc, and avoid any form of sexual contact prior to marriage. This is the Christian view and I believe the best view. However I am a realist and I know that I can't expect those who may not be Christians to behave as Christians any more than I can expect a dog to start behaving as a cat. But since many in the culture war have no trouble preaching to kids about what may harm them; smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc. can we not agree that we should tell our children not to pursue the "most intimate level" of intimacy?

I think most people would reason that men have everything to gain and women have everything to lose in "going all the way." The cards are all in favor of the man and should we not put that all out there when discussing the repercussions of teen sex or sex outside of marriage in general? I would be perfectly comfortable in telling a young man that he is a selfish jerk if he pressures a young lady with the "if you really love me you will show me line nonsense." Young ladies, particularly teens who may not have the best relationships with their fathers or may have no fathers at all, understand the "biblical oneness" that comes with intercourse. Hence, how can one measure the harm a break up has on a girl who has permitted a boy to have her most intimate possession? Boys, unfortunately, are governed by their penises while young, and this in turn can harden (pardon the pun) them to the value of women and intimacy should they be permitted (with no societal sanction quite frankly) to get their rocks off with as many conquests as they can find.

Don't get me wrong. I am not endorsing oral sex or hand jobs for young people who are hot and horny. Still I know this exists and I know it has existed in cultures that were far less permissive than ours. I just hope that both sides in the culture war and abortion divide would endorse a" form of virginity" that would be much better for our youth and in turn would result in fewer teen pregnancies and abortions.

An Olivia Newton John Moment

Funny how ideas for a blog can change overnight, literally. I had intended to write a blog about sex education and abortion, but after last night's dream, I changed my mind. Don't be fooled by the title of this blog, it actually is difficult to write and challenges me greatly to play the "truth or dare" thing and really be the personification of "faith unfiltered."

My blogs for the most part have been about things that I think ultimately can hinder the cause of Christianity and turn off those outside the faith community. I feel it is better to be real with the "world" so to speak, even air dirty laundry from time to time, rather than put up a united front to showcase our piety even if it is just surface stuff that may in time come crashing down like a house of cards.

For this blog I write about me...."being real" and open myself up to things that hopefully may resonate with others who are just part of the human family. And this I think is so important to do; show myself as a Christian in the broader context of being part of the human family. I'm sure many men and to a lesser degree women can identify with "checking out" members of the opposite sex. I, for one will never fail to miss a "bubble butt" or "quite a rack" that passes by even if I am busy doing other things. And like I said, the ladies I'm sure do this as well when some good "eye candy" passes their way. I believe for the most part people understand this and don't get overly judgmental about sexual beings checking out "hot" looking or just attractive people.

Of course this happens to married folks just as often as single, available people, and because of this, the subject of "looking but not touching" may get dicey if you mention to others that this is no big deal. But I as a married person am going to touch upon a far more provocative subject than just looking, one that is about feeling and connection that is "dicey' to say the least but one that I feel I need to tell.

I have had at least 4 (what I would call crushes) with other women since I have been married. These have been far away longings so to speak, with the objects of my affection having no idea of how I felt. I think these crushes had lots to do with the difficulties of married life; being so familiar with another person is not always such a good thing if you get my meaning. You can be married to someone, love them, and at the same time they may drive you to drink on occasion...lol! But whatever the thing that may cause a married man or woman's hear to stray doesn't really matter. The fact is sometimes you meet someone who is the "cat's meow", "all that and a bag of chips", whatever phrase captures you best.

I had a dream last night about someone who really is "putting an added skip to my step." I just was dreaming about walking with her on a shady road full of trees off to the side, and just by being with her and enjoying her company, life seemed so much like a glass of lemonade on a warm, spring day. I bring this up because this person may know herself oh so well, know her flaws, sin struggles, the things that hinder her from having the wonderful relationships that she longs for, yet I can see in her in the way that she longs to be seen. This is so rare and people need to hear that when the opportunity arises.

Thinking about an Olivia Newton Song years back, one line i particularly like is..."I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm not trying to make you feel anything at all, but this feeling doesn't come along everyday." Those special feelings that you have towards another member of the human family are so important to express even if one worries about "the so-called slippery slope" of maybe hurting a marriage. There is no reason to believe that telling someone how you feel about them is going to lead you to be obsessed with pursuing a relationship with them when you know it can and should not happen. This is the same as fearing enjoying pleasure means you will turn into a hedonist and end up being on nude beaches in Jamaica. God is a good shepherd who watches over His flock and will not let them go too far astray.

A couple of months ago I was leaving work, tired from another mundane afternoon and the battle scars of life in this world, when I stopped at a traffic signal. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a girl in a car to the right of me. She had a friend in the passenger seat who was punching her, looking all red and what appeared to be embarrassed. The driver was speaking to me and though I couldn't hear her, I was able to read her lips. She was saying, "She likes you," all the while this girl was banging on her shoulder furiously like a school girl who doesn't want the friend to tell the boy of a secret crush. I bring this up because, though in a way I found the incident amusing, my very being felt so so good. And even though I know myself all to well, for a moment I felt like "I was all that and a bag of chips" and boy did it feel nice. I hope by sharing a dream and telling someone when you have the feelings that don't come along everyday...that others can sure feel nice.