A Different Road

I have yet to see the film, "Revolutionary Road" with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not sure what the film is about not do I know what is the significance of its title. I am interested in the use of the word road as a metaphor. It is an effective word picture and I am sure many who are making a decision that could ultimately change the course of their lives are familiar with the idea of facing the so-called "fork in the road."

There are also meaningful references to roads in Holy Writ that should give us pause and cause us to examine our lives. Saul of Tarsus, later the Apostle Paul, had a meeting with Jesus Christ while on the Damascus Road which made him confront his role in persecuting Christians and having them put to death. But the most important reference to a road in scripture is the idea of a "narrow" road that leads to life and a "broad" road that leads to destruction.

Rather than get into a conventional explanation of how a broad life implies a libertine, eat, drink, and be merry epicurean type of existence, or being a worldly do gooder without any care or concern for God is not what I wish to address, though it is of value. Nor do I want to demonstrate how living a pious, holy life, one that focuses more on eternal matters than temporal satisfaction or pleasure, though that certainly has great merit.

I am here to bring up the notion of a different road; one that falls under the umbrella of a "narrow" way or road, but I think it is one not much discussed and one that may make many uncomfortable. This is fine because the goal of a preacher or one who wishes to write about matters of faith should be two-fold; one to comfort the afflicted and the other to afflict the comfortable.

I believe one of the most popular and potentially damaging bumper sticker slogans for Christians is the "better safe than sorry" idea. It carries so much weight of course because on many levels it is true. You could decide to not lock your car when you stop off at the store for a few moments and probably not have your vehicle stolen. But who would disagree that it is "better safe than sorry." And while that practical advice is good in that instance, too often I believe, people take that idea, and this occurs with many good ideas, simply too far.

In his excellent book, "Blue Like Jazz" Don Miller writes about growing up in a conservative Christian home and how mortified his family was when he determined to go to a university in Oregon that was considered to be one of the most liberal and promiscuous in the country. His initial decision to go there was motivated by his desire to "cut loose" so to speak and be part of a place so unlike his own universe that he thought it would be fun. But what Miller discovered while being in the college was how much of a risk he was taking by being there. He soon discovered that many of the students he met there, many who would become his friends, challenged his faith and made him realize how he could learn from others, even those who had a world view that was completely different from his.

What Miller did was take a risk. This was far from playing it safe. While befriending a girl on campus, he realized just how far he had to get to enter her world and get to know her better.He went to poetry readings about homosexuality, went to bars where people did much more than just drink alcohol, all kinds of places that Christians are supposed to avoid..."come out from among them and be ye separate" type of thinking. By gaining her trust he began to share the person of Jesus Christ and hoped to show her His love. Miller frankly shares how his discussions with his friend rarely appeared to gain no traction. She seemed entirely without interest in Christ or Christianity. Miller was discouraged because in so many ways his friend was such a nice person, highly intelligent, and so willing to accept others and do good things.

Throughout the relationship, Miller's commented on how his friend made a point to tell him how she didn't like his message but she enjoyed him and valued their relationship. She sensed there was something different about him and she couldn't quite understand why he wished to spend time with her; particularly in light of her liberal, live and let live lifestlye, and how she often would poke fun of Christianity and at Christians. Something happened one time when Miller was consoling his friend during a difficult day. Inevitably when we have close friends, there will be times when all of us will feel a need to share our sadness and vulnerability...all part of being human, no one is exempt. After a time of listening and offering hope to a hurting young college girl, gentling sharing Christ's love with her, the young girl turned to Miller and he could see that a "light" went on. After a moment of silence she spoke to her friend these words and I paraphrase (since I lent out this book and am using recall) "Jesus was a revolutionary, a beautiful revoltionary, and I see this because I see you as one too." She then began to cry and say that she didn't know how much she could believe about all the claims of Christianity but she did know that she wanted to know more about "this revolutionary Jesus."

Thinking about this wonderful testimony of God and His love, I can't help but mention the limitations of the "better safe than sorry" idea, and is not the true Christian ideal, the road we are to follow is one that is not at all safe, no it is more a revolutionary road....one that takes great risk, but one that may yield great reward.

I conclude with a personal story and may I state that I am not telling anyone exactly what they need to do to get out of their safe comfortable lives. I just hope that people do examine whether it is a good thing in life...."to move out of the city and head for the suburbs." Years ago when my wife and I got married we thought it might be a good idea to become foster parents. We decided to give it a go, we knew others who did it, so we moved forward to explore the process. When we discussed placement options my wife and I decided upon teenage girls. Rather than be placed with small children, ones who may ultimately be reunified with a non ideal family situation, we thought that having teenagers, ones we could share life lessons with and model healthy relationships would give us the best opportunity to "make a difference."

After several months of interviews, background checks, and finding a suitable girl to take in, my wife became pregnant. Family and church members close to us asked us if we would withdraw from the process. Well meaning people freely gave us advice, typically along the "better safe than sorry" lines. "You need to protect your new family, who knows what these kids in state care are about, what they have been subject too, and obviously God is closing the door on this means of ministry at this time. You are newly married, a newborn on the way, and this need to be your focus. God has given you more than enough to handle." This, of course, is sound practical advice, advice that many would agree with. We however decided to move forward in the process and eventually were placed with a 13 year old girl named Felicia who lived with us for over a year.

Why did we decide to go ahead and be foster parents? It had to do with a revolutionary named Jesus Christ who said His Kingdom was not of this world....and " better safe than sorry" is definitely the road and the wisdom of the world. And by the way, Felicia is 28 today with a 10 year old son. We see her and "Joey" regularly and have for several years. So yes our great risk did yield great reward and though Felicia does not follow Christ in her life, I hope in some way she has a visit with Him when she spends time with our family. Perhaps the road we took was not revolutionary but just a risk we decided to take. Whatever you call it, people who have sacrificed their own comfort and made a risky investment in the lives of others, ask those who benefited from those who chose to take a risk, if it did not often yield revolutionary results

Repercussions of "girl talk" or God "taking someone out"

My wife is an opinionated lady so sometimes it comes as a surprise to me when somebody says something, something that I know she disagrees with, and she just moves on. In fact when I've mentioned this on a few occasions she says she only vaguely remembers the comment in question. I've noticed that this occurs in the context of "girl talk" or trying to establish a relationship with someone new.

This got me to thinking why so many thoughtful, intelligent people can listen to some outlandish things and seem to not blink an eye. Sometimes when I watch a Christian worship service, I will hear a televangelist say something clearly off the wall and the congregation will nod in approval and holler out "amen." I wonder if what is going on here is not so much about people actually believing what is said , but is more about what occurs from time to time with my wife during "girl talk" or building a new relationship.
I would characterize this under "church talk" or" trying to fit in" that may explain this puzzling behavior of listening to some nonsense. One may argue my premise that the folks in question are actually intelligent or thoughtful, maybe they are simple sheep looking for a shepherd. I would be biased if I were to say that my wife is intelligent and thoughtful so maybe all those in the congregation are just simpletons.

Still think about this for a moment. Would you not agree that all humans (bright and slow) are relational beings and because of this they really long for a sense of belonging. Would it be surprising that in a busy world where time is hard to come by, that those who had a yearning for spiritual things and who wished to belong to something...that maybe that desire for relationship may cause them to turn off their brains and their ears just a bit.

Let me give an example of something that happened at my church recently. Those in the presbyterian denomination tend to be more anal about theology and making sure things are explained precisely. Many here have jobs that require considerable intelligence and some have advanced degrees. Still there are things that may be said that are way out there and may still fly under the radar, at least with some folks. Years ago I went to a church that was a bit crazy to be charitable. This makes me sensitive to aberrant thinking and helped me catch on to a comment made from the pews at a recent adult sunday school class. I know some folks there caught on to it but I'm not sure how many.

We had been discussing communion or "The Lord's Supper" and how serious are its implications. Scripture states that if we partake unworthily we will place ourselves into judgment and may even die. One of our church members then commented on how he saw a pastor "taken out" right in the middle of the service during communion. On first glance this may seem okay to say and it is a curious thing that someone would die during the partaking of the Lord's table during communion. But let me ask this. Did anyone ever prove this pastor was engaged in sinful behavior prior to his death? Did anyone consider that this pastor's death may have been appointed by God as a means to wake up somebody else in the congregation of their particular sinfulness? How bout this. Could it be possible that cause and effect may be taking place and the pastor just finished his 10,000 bacon cheeseburger the night before and this finally clogged his arteries ( that hadn't been checked for years) to the point where a massive heart attack was inevitable?

Why is this important and why be so sensitive about conclusions reached from scripture? You may say that there was no harm in using this pastor as an example to gain attention even if may not be accurate. I disagree. First from the example of the book of Job we should not conclude that when bad things happen to someone it is because they were in sin. Second and perhaps more important for Christians is this. We should do what we can not to look like unthoughtful idiots to others. At any time skeptics or unbelievers may walk into the "household of faith" to see what is going on. And just as I have noticed how foolish this "girl talk" or "church talk" can look when you are on the outside looking in, imagine how it is to skeptics or unbelievers who walk in and see people who may have dulled their brains a bit or stopped being inquisitive all for the sake of "belonging" and "relationships."