Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Why Theology Matters
During a recent conversation with a friend he hinted at the fact that I need to lighten up on my blogs a bit. He also suggested that I focus more on the simplicity of Christ's teachings and not make theology such a focus, meaning perhaps I focus too much on the theoretical and not enough on the practical. In some ways I take that as a compliment since I actually think I am rather pedestrian in my theological knowledge, and lean more towards simplifying biblical themes. I am a recovering journalism major after all...lol!
One thing I disagree regarding theology is this notion that it is not practical. Perhaps you can go too far spending time in ivory towers writing long winded academia for pointy headed scholars that no ordinary Joe can understand, but this in no way can wipe away the importance of good theology and its practical implications. Ideas have consequences and this is most true in the study of God.
My theological leanings come from an historic reformed perspective. There has been a resurgence of this theology, particularly among the young, and Time Magazine wrote an article on the "new Calvinism" which is a reference to John Calvin, an historic prominent figure in the protestant reformation. Calvin, Martin Luther, and St. Augustine going way back for that matter had a view of salvation that has great implications in how we view our roles in bringing the gospel message to those we meet in our daily lives.
For those who believe in the idea of a "new birth" being essential for salvation, meaning a man must be "born again" to enter the kingdom of god, this occurs one of two ways. One way is that God the Holy Spirit illuminates the human heart of an individual to see its sin and need for a savior (Jesus Christ) and hence then the spirit of God enables the person to repent from sin and turn to faith in Christ and accept his sacrifice for sin as a means of forgiveness, and then being accepted by a Holy god because of what Christ did on the sinner's behalf. This happens as the sinner cooperates with the aid of the Holy Spirit to bring about this process of what theologians term "regeneration" or being "born again."
Another view of the "new birth," and the one that I and the "Calvinists" hold to is that God "regenerates a "dead" sinner, one who is a slave to sin, and makes him "alive." In turn, the now "regenerate" and "new creation" exercises repentance and faith in Christ as the result of what the Holy Spirit has done. This act of salvation towards a sinner is God's act of grace and mercy from start to finish; a monergistic form of salvation (theological term) as opposed to the first idea which is synergistic, meaning man's cooperation is needed for the salvation to ultimately occur.
Why does this matter? It matters a great deal actually since the view you hold can determine greatly how you go about life and especially in dealing with people. On my facebook page I have had the fortune of meeting interesting people and adding them as "friends." One friend I particularly like is at best undecided about God, and at worst an outright unbeliever. Because I care about her and about her need for salvation by accepting Christ as savior, I feel compelled to do something. If I hold view number one, then I do all I can to try to persuade my friend to cooperate with the gospel message. In many ways I have to be prepared to be a "good salesman" for lack of a better term to make her see the seriousness of her need for salvation. One problem with this, one that can be very stressful, is what if a person just does not want to hear it? Many people reject all kinds of things that are good for them. What if a person is from a different religion and have been reared all their lives to follow the ways of mom and dad and not betray the religion of your youth? My problem with view number one is that while in theory God may give all men a chance to be saved, He still leaves only legitimate options for salvation only open to those who are reasonable and willing to change. This seems to me that God favors merit and the people who have some "good" qualities such as willingness and reason are the only ones who can enter His kingdom.
In view number two, there is the troubling idea that only "God's elect" can be ultimately saved. But uncomfortable that idea is, can we really hold out hope that mankind is capable of accepting Christ? Does not man, first and foremost in his life, want to be the "captain of his own destiny." The idea of submitting to a Holy and Just God who demands worship and obedience of people is an idea that stiffens up the necks of sinners who will shake their fist and say, "I will not bow the knee." Am I wrong in believing that a sinner will exercise their "free will" only in accordance to things that satisfy their selfish desires, rather than use their choices for God? I expect a lion to behave in ways that reflect his being a lion. Likewise I expect a sinner to choose for sin rather than righteousness. And does not a creature of darkness run away from light rather that walk towards it?
My heart is troubled by a friend who by her own admission does not know Christ in a personal way. The consolation I have, and one that is tied to my theology, is that God can change her heart. The Lord Jesus Christ can do to my friend the same thing that He did to Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus.
Long my imprisoned spirit lay;
fast bound in sin and nature's night;
thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
One thing I disagree regarding theology is this notion that it is not practical. Perhaps you can go too far spending time in ivory towers writing long winded academia for pointy headed scholars that no ordinary Joe can understand, but this in no way can wipe away the importance of good theology and its practical implications. Ideas have consequences and this is most true in the study of God.
My theological leanings come from an historic reformed perspective. There has been a resurgence of this theology, particularly among the young, and Time Magazine wrote an article on the "new Calvinism" which is a reference to John Calvin, an historic prominent figure in the protestant reformation. Calvin, Martin Luther, and St. Augustine going way back for that matter had a view of salvation that has great implications in how we view our roles in bringing the gospel message to those we meet in our daily lives.
For those who believe in the idea of a "new birth" being essential for salvation, meaning a man must be "born again" to enter the kingdom of god, this occurs one of two ways. One way is that God the Holy Spirit illuminates the human heart of an individual to see its sin and need for a savior (Jesus Christ) and hence then the spirit of God enables the person to repent from sin and turn to faith in Christ and accept his sacrifice for sin as a means of forgiveness, and then being accepted by a Holy god because of what Christ did on the sinner's behalf. This happens as the sinner cooperates with the aid of the Holy Spirit to bring about this process of what theologians term "regeneration" or being "born again."
Another view of the "new birth," and the one that I and the "Calvinists" hold to is that God "regenerates a "dead" sinner, one who is a slave to sin, and makes him "alive." In turn, the now "regenerate" and "new creation" exercises repentance and faith in Christ as the result of what the Holy Spirit has done. This act of salvation towards a sinner is God's act of grace and mercy from start to finish; a monergistic form of salvation (theological term) as opposed to the first idea which is synergistic, meaning man's cooperation is needed for the salvation to ultimately occur.
Why does this matter? It matters a great deal actually since the view you hold can determine greatly how you go about life and especially in dealing with people. On my facebook page I have had the fortune of meeting interesting people and adding them as "friends." One friend I particularly like is at best undecided about God, and at worst an outright unbeliever. Because I care about her and about her need for salvation by accepting Christ as savior, I feel compelled to do something. If I hold view number one, then I do all I can to try to persuade my friend to cooperate with the gospel message. In many ways I have to be prepared to be a "good salesman" for lack of a better term to make her see the seriousness of her need for salvation. One problem with this, one that can be very stressful, is what if a person just does not want to hear it? Many people reject all kinds of things that are good for them. What if a person is from a different religion and have been reared all their lives to follow the ways of mom and dad and not betray the religion of your youth? My problem with view number one is that while in theory God may give all men a chance to be saved, He still leaves only legitimate options for salvation only open to those who are reasonable and willing to change. This seems to me that God favors merit and the people who have some "good" qualities such as willingness and reason are the only ones who can enter His kingdom.
In view number two, there is the troubling idea that only "God's elect" can be ultimately saved. But uncomfortable that idea is, can we really hold out hope that mankind is capable of accepting Christ? Does not man, first and foremost in his life, want to be the "captain of his own destiny." The idea of submitting to a Holy and Just God who demands worship and obedience of people is an idea that stiffens up the necks of sinners who will shake their fist and say, "I will not bow the knee." Am I wrong in believing that a sinner will exercise their "free will" only in accordance to things that satisfy their selfish desires, rather than use their choices for God? I expect a lion to behave in ways that reflect his being a lion. Likewise I expect a sinner to choose for sin rather than righteousness. And does not a creature of darkness run away from light rather that walk towards it?
My heart is troubled by a friend who by her own admission does not know Christ in a personal way. The consolation I have, and one that is tied to my theology, is that God can change her heart. The Lord Jesus Christ can do to my friend the same thing that He did to Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus.
Long my imprisoned spirit lay;
fast bound in sin and nature's night;
thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Another Banking Crisis
Some years ago my wife and I almost went on staff for "Family Life," a division of "Campus Crusade for Christ." We filled out all the paperwork, did well during all our phone interviews, and were among 5 couples who were flown down to their Arkansas headquarters to possibly get into their ministry. I still marvel at the fact that of 60 couples that applied for a possible position there, among the 5 finalists were my wife and I. Needless to say things didn't work out there and God had me stay put in my current line of work.
Though not an "official expert" on marriage and family life, I do believe I have gleaned some things about marriage over the years that may be helpful to those struggling in by far the most "sanctifying" of relationships. I know that many who enter in the covenant of marriage have done so through a church service of some sorts. I wonder how many really pay attention to their marriage vows they recited on their glorious day. This, is a good place to start. A written reminder of those vows placed in a conspicuous place in the home for friends and family to see is a good idea so a couple can be frequently reminded of the oath they took before God and many witnesses. This is no cure all by any means but I think it is helpful to go into a marriage expectations that it will be difficult and you need to be reminded of that so you can both have your "A" game going on even when you may not feel up to it.
There are some other things to consider as far as roles are considered. Husbands must realize that they need to submit first and foremost to Christ. He alone will teach you how to model a biblical manhood that will demonstrate love for your wife. Wives, need to submit to their husbands, and respect them. This in turn will make it easier for a husband to love his bride since a nagging, independent wife often will be like a "dripping fawcett" to a husband. These concepts hopefully resonate to most who have at least a rudimentary understanding of orthodox Christianity, and hopefully reminding oneself of these precepts now and again will help in the often "roll up your sleeves" type work that is marriage.
I'm sure though you would like some specific practical advice to help out in your current marriage, to keep yourself tempted from and affair, and most of all protecting your covenant with God from disintegrating into the ugly realm of divorce. A good place to start is by thinking of your marriage as like a bank account. Obviously the money you place there is your investment and you want to preserve it and even watch it grow. There are 2 important transactions you make with your account; withdrawals and deposits. These same transactions in some ways are made in your marriage, but instead of money, you are either making deposits of love to your spouse, or you are making withdrawals.
Let me illustrate a point. When I come home from work and see my wife busy with dishes or other mundane household tasks, at this time I begin to make a transaction. If I say, "Honey, let me finish what you are doing and you go take a break," then I am demonstrating love and care for her and this in turn is a love deposit that I place in our account. If I decide to park my ass in front of the boob tube and decide my relaxation is the most important thing in life at that time, then I am making a withdrawal and demonstrating a lack of love and care for my wife. Now these transactions are constantly taking place throughout the life of a marriage, and if there amount of withdrawals reaches a "tipping point" then a marriage may reach a crisis level and before long you may end up "hating each others guts."
A best way to avoid this is to evaluate your relationship with God and make sure you are in a covenant community with other Christian believers, a.k.a. the church. This is the where the pulse of God is and is a safety net for a couple to avoid isolating themselves from the larger community. Too often, couples having struggles, become defeated by the bad habits they have created within their marriage. Perhaps if they had been involved with other Christians, those who model good, healthy, relationships, they would have been able to avoid some of the pitfalls that ultimately ruined their marriage.
I am not suggesting this is easy. The above advice is not a magic "twitch of a nose" Samantha Stevens, "Bewitched" type of thing. Still, God is a loving father who can change hardened hearts. The question is whether one is humble enough to show repentance, and willing enough to pursue a loving relationship that entails lots of sacrifice.
One last point. A marriage counselor once told a story of a married couple who were persuaded to try counseling as a last shot to save their marriage. The counselor asked the husband to say one good thing about his wife. The man who was seated far from his wife and whose body langage clearly demonstrated his displeasure with being there and in the company of his wife said he couldn't think of any. The counselor said he would wait. After about 5 miinutes of deafening silence the husband said, "She is a good cook." The counselor asked the same question of the wife and she had a similar response. This tit for tat went on for about an hour and over time the couple began to soften and realized there were lots of good traits the other had, yet somehow became lost in their anger and bitterness. This was all due to a "banking crisis" that was never addressed where love deposits were never made and in turn were replaced by anger and ever hate.
Sobering stuff. But God is a great physician and He can heal even the most hurting of souls. If this blog is speaking to you, have hope if you have been hurt by divorce. But if you can work to restore a marriage on the ropes, please don't give up, God can help.
Though not an "official expert" on marriage and family life, I do believe I have gleaned some things about marriage over the years that may be helpful to those struggling in by far the most "sanctifying" of relationships. I know that many who enter in the covenant of marriage have done so through a church service of some sorts. I wonder how many really pay attention to their marriage vows they recited on their glorious day. This, is a good place to start. A written reminder of those vows placed in a conspicuous place in the home for friends and family to see is a good idea so a couple can be frequently reminded of the oath they took before God and many witnesses. This is no cure all by any means but I think it is helpful to go into a marriage expectations that it will be difficult and you need to be reminded of that so you can both have your "A" game going on even when you may not feel up to it.
There are some other things to consider as far as roles are considered. Husbands must realize that they need to submit first and foremost to Christ. He alone will teach you how to model a biblical manhood that will demonstrate love for your wife. Wives, need to submit to their husbands, and respect them. This in turn will make it easier for a husband to love his bride since a nagging, independent wife often will be like a "dripping fawcett" to a husband. These concepts hopefully resonate to most who have at least a rudimentary understanding of orthodox Christianity, and hopefully reminding oneself of these precepts now and again will help in the often "roll up your sleeves" type work that is marriage.
I'm sure though you would like some specific practical advice to help out in your current marriage, to keep yourself tempted from and affair, and most of all protecting your covenant with God from disintegrating into the ugly realm of divorce. A good place to start is by thinking of your marriage as like a bank account. Obviously the money you place there is your investment and you want to preserve it and even watch it grow. There are 2 important transactions you make with your account; withdrawals and deposits. These same transactions in some ways are made in your marriage, but instead of money, you are either making deposits of love to your spouse, or you are making withdrawals.
Let me illustrate a point. When I come home from work and see my wife busy with dishes or other mundane household tasks, at this time I begin to make a transaction. If I say, "Honey, let me finish what you are doing and you go take a break," then I am demonstrating love and care for her and this in turn is a love deposit that I place in our account. If I decide to park my ass in front of the boob tube and decide my relaxation is the most important thing in life at that time, then I am making a withdrawal and demonstrating a lack of love and care for my wife. Now these transactions are constantly taking place throughout the life of a marriage, and if there amount of withdrawals reaches a "tipping point" then a marriage may reach a crisis level and before long you may end up "hating each others guts."
A best way to avoid this is to evaluate your relationship with God and make sure you are in a covenant community with other Christian believers, a.k.a. the church. This is the where the pulse of God is and is a safety net for a couple to avoid isolating themselves from the larger community. Too often, couples having struggles, become defeated by the bad habits they have created within their marriage. Perhaps if they had been involved with other Christians, those who model good, healthy, relationships, they would have been able to avoid some of the pitfalls that ultimately ruined their marriage.
I am not suggesting this is easy. The above advice is not a magic "twitch of a nose" Samantha Stevens, "Bewitched" type of thing. Still, God is a loving father who can change hardened hearts. The question is whether one is humble enough to show repentance, and willing enough to pursue a loving relationship that entails lots of sacrifice.
One last point. A marriage counselor once told a story of a married couple who were persuaded to try counseling as a last shot to save their marriage. The counselor asked the husband to say one good thing about his wife. The man who was seated far from his wife and whose body langage clearly demonstrated his displeasure with being there and in the company of his wife said he couldn't think of any. The counselor said he would wait. After about 5 miinutes of deafening silence the husband said, "She is a good cook." The counselor asked the same question of the wife and she had a similar response. This tit for tat went on for about an hour and over time the couple began to soften and realized there were lots of good traits the other had, yet somehow became lost in their anger and bitterness. This was all due to a "banking crisis" that was never addressed where love deposits were never made and in turn were replaced by anger and ever hate.
Sobering stuff. But God is a great physician and He can heal even the most hurting of souls. If this blog is speaking to you, have hope if you have been hurt by divorce. But if you can work to restore a marriage on the ropes, please don't give up, God can help.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sex Education and Abortion
When it comes to battles in the "culture war" not only do opposing sides yell over each other so much so that listening becomes pointless amidst the noise, but folks have their set "talking points" so mastered in their heads that different options never are discussed or explored. The best and most frustrating example of this is in the abortion debate.
With the skyrocketing rate of teenage pregnancies in our culture, you would think cools heads would prevail in trying to find a solution in reducing pregnancies among teens and this in turn would reduce the number of abortions. But cool heads never seem to prevail in the culture war and therefore accusations are thrown around and both sides play the blame game about why both teen pregnancies and abortion continue to exist and in great numbers here in our nation.
On the one hand you have those who believe sex is a given among young people and if we only have greater sex education available for our teens than things will change for the better. They want abortion to remain available of course, feeling it is a woman's right to choose what she does with her body and her unborn child or fetus. On the other side you have those who wish to overturn Roe V. Wade, feel abortion is murder, and yet at the same time want to promote abstinence education in school so kids follow the "just say no" mantra that is uses in the drug debate.
I have an alternative solution that I think will tick both sides off and therefore I think it is the best we can hope for in a pluralistic society such as ours. I'll start off with the abortion question first. Aside from the notion of late term abortions which I think the overwhelming majority of Americans are against, I think it is unreasonable to think that making abortion illegal is going to happen. Roe v. Wade for better or worse is the law of the land and unless there is overwhelming support to ban abortion, I think those opposed to abortion should best concentrate their efforts on reducing abortions and lowering teen pregnancies.
For those who think that sex education is the way to go since kids are going to have sex anyways, I have this observation to make. Has it ever occurred to those who are liberal and conservative for that matter that kids can have sexual gratification without risking getting pregnant? Though not a philosophy I endorse necessarily, I am smart enough to know that teens and young Christian people for that matter engage in what used to be called "heavy petting." It wasn't that long ago that young men knew there were certain limits he had with a young lady and he was not supposed to go any further. Is this not a reasonable approach to have even in this day and age?
I, myself, prefer the idea of having my children have dates in public settings, double date etc, and avoid any form of sexual contact prior to marriage. This is the Christian view and I believe the best view. However I am a realist and I know that I can't expect those who may not be Christians to behave as Christians any more than I can expect a dog to start behaving as a cat. But since many in the culture war have no trouble preaching to kids about what may harm them; smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc. can we not agree that we should tell our children not to pursue the "most intimate level" of intimacy?
I think most people would reason that men have everything to gain and women have everything to lose in "going all the way." The cards are all in favor of the man and should we not put that all out there when discussing the repercussions of teen sex or sex outside of marriage in general? I would be perfectly comfortable in telling a young man that he is a selfish jerk if he pressures a young lady with the "if you really love me you will show me line nonsense." Young ladies, particularly teens who may not have the best relationships with their fathers or may have no fathers at all, understand the "biblical oneness" that comes with intercourse. Hence, how can one measure the harm a break up has on a girl who has permitted a boy to have her most intimate possession? Boys, unfortunately, are governed by their penises while young, and this in turn can harden (pardon the pun) them to the value of women and intimacy should they be permitted (with no societal sanction quite frankly) to get their rocks off with as many conquests as they can find.
Don't get me wrong. I am not endorsing oral sex or hand jobs for young people who are hot and horny. Still I know this exists and I know it has existed in cultures that were far less permissive than ours. I just hope that both sides in the culture war and abortion divide would endorse a" form of virginity" that would be much better for our youth and in turn would result in fewer teen pregnancies and abortions.
With the skyrocketing rate of teenage pregnancies in our culture, you would think cools heads would prevail in trying to find a solution in reducing pregnancies among teens and this in turn would reduce the number of abortions. But cool heads never seem to prevail in the culture war and therefore accusations are thrown around and both sides play the blame game about why both teen pregnancies and abortion continue to exist and in great numbers here in our nation.
On the one hand you have those who believe sex is a given among young people and if we only have greater sex education available for our teens than things will change for the better. They want abortion to remain available of course, feeling it is a woman's right to choose what she does with her body and her unborn child or fetus. On the other side you have those who wish to overturn Roe V. Wade, feel abortion is murder, and yet at the same time want to promote abstinence education in school so kids follow the "just say no" mantra that is uses in the drug debate.
I have an alternative solution that I think will tick both sides off and therefore I think it is the best we can hope for in a pluralistic society such as ours. I'll start off with the abortion question first. Aside from the notion of late term abortions which I think the overwhelming majority of Americans are against, I think it is unreasonable to think that making abortion illegal is going to happen. Roe v. Wade for better or worse is the law of the land and unless there is overwhelming support to ban abortion, I think those opposed to abortion should best concentrate their efforts on reducing abortions and lowering teen pregnancies.
For those who think that sex education is the way to go since kids are going to have sex anyways, I have this observation to make. Has it ever occurred to those who are liberal and conservative for that matter that kids can have sexual gratification without risking getting pregnant? Though not a philosophy I endorse necessarily, I am smart enough to know that teens and young Christian people for that matter engage in what used to be called "heavy petting." It wasn't that long ago that young men knew there were certain limits he had with a young lady and he was not supposed to go any further. Is this not a reasonable approach to have even in this day and age?
I, myself, prefer the idea of having my children have dates in public settings, double date etc, and avoid any form of sexual contact prior to marriage. This is the Christian view and I believe the best view. However I am a realist and I know that I can't expect those who may not be Christians to behave as Christians any more than I can expect a dog to start behaving as a cat. But since many in the culture war have no trouble preaching to kids about what may harm them; smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc. can we not agree that we should tell our children not to pursue the "most intimate level" of intimacy?
I think most people would reason that men have everything to gain and women have everything to lose in "going all the way." The cards are all in favor of the man and should we not put that all out there when discussing the repercussions of teen sex or sex outside of marriage in general? I would be perfectly comfortable in telling a young man that he is a selfish jerk if he pressures a young lady with the "if you really love me you will show me line nonsense." Young ladies, particularly teens who may not have the best relationships with their fathers or may have no fathers at all, understand the "biblical oneness" that comes with intercourse. Hence, how can one measure the harm a break up has on a girl who has permitted a boy to have her most intimate possession? Boys, unfortunately, are governed by their penises while young, and this in turn can harden (pardon the pun) them to the value of women and intimacy should they be permitted (with no societal sanction quite frankly) to get their rocks off with as many conquests as they can find.
Don't get me wrong. I am not endorsing oral sex or hand jobs for young people who are hot and horny. Still I know this exists and I know it has existed in cultures that were far less permissive than ours. I just hope that both sides in the culture war and abortion divide would endorse a" form of virginity" that would be much better for our youth and in turn would result in fewer teen pregnancies and abortions.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
An Olivia Newton John Moment
Funny how ideas for a blog can change overnight, literally. I had intended to write a blog about sex education and abortion, but after last night's dream, I changed my mind. Don't be fooled by the title of this blog, it actually is difficult to write and challenges me greatly to play the "truth or dare" thing and really be the personification of "faith unfiltered."
My blogs for the most part have been about things that I think ultimately can hinder the cause of Christianity and turn off those outside the faith community. I feel it is better to be real with the "world" so to speak, even air dirty laundry from time to time, rather than put up a united front to showcase our piety even if it is just surface stuff that may in time come crashing down like a house of cards.
For this blog I write about me...."being real" and open myself up to things that hopefully may resonate with others who are just part of the human family. And this I think is so important to do; show myself as a Christian in the broader context of being part of the human family. I'm sure many men and to a lesser degree women can identify with "checking out" members of the opposite sex. I, for one will never fail to miss a "bubble butt" or "quite a rack" that passes by even if I am busy doing other things. And like I said, the ladies I'm sure do this as well when some good "eye candy" passes their way. I believe for the most part people understand this and don't get overly judgmental about sexual beings checking out "hot" looking or just attractive people.
Of course this happens to married folks just as often as single, available people, and because of this, the subject of "looking but not touching" may get dicey if you mention to others that this is no big deal. But I as a married person am going to touch upon a far more provocative subject than just looking, one that is about feeling and connection that is "dicey' to say the least but one that I feel I need to tell.
I have had at least 4 (what I would call crushes) with other women since I have been married. These have been far away longings so to speak, with the objects of my affection having no idea of how I felt. I think these crushes had lots to do with the difficulties of married life; being so familiar with another person is not always such a good thing if you get my meaning. You can be married to someone, love them, and at the same time they may drive you to drink on occasion...lol! But whatever the thing that may cause a married man or woman's hear to stray doesn't really matter. The fact is sometimes you meet someone who is the "cat's meow", "all that and a bag of chips", whatever phrase captures you best.
I had a dream last night about someone who really is "putting an added skip to my step." I just was dreaming about walking with her on a shady road full of trees off to the side, and just by being with her and enjoying her company, life seemed so much like a glass of lemonade on a warm, spring day. I bring this up because this person may know herself oh so well, know her flaws, sin struggles, the things that hinder her from having the wonderful relationships that she longs for, yet I can see in her in the way that she longs to be seen. This is so rare and people need to hear that when the opportunity arises.
Thinking about an Olivia Newton Song years back, one line i particularly like is..."I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm not trying to make you feel anything at all, but this feeling doesn't come along everyday." Those special feelings that you have towards another member of the human family are so important to express even if one worries about "the so-called slippery slope" of maybe hurting a marriage. There is no reason to believe that telling someone how you feel about them is going to lead you to be obsessed with pursuing a relationship with them when you know it can and should not happen. This is the same as fearing enjoying pleasure means you will turn into a hedonist and end up being on nude beaches in Jamaica. God is a good shepherd who watches over His flock and will not let them go too far astray.
A couple of months ago I was leaving work, tired from another mundane afternoon and the battle scars of life in this world, when I stopped at a traffic signal. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a girl in a car to the right of me. She had a friend in the passenger seat who was punching her, looking all red and what appeared to be embarrassed. The driver was speaking to me and though I couldn't hear her, I was able to read her lips. She was saying, "She likes you," all the while this girl was banging on her shoulder furiously like a school girl who doesn't want the friend to tell the boy of a secret crush. I bring this up because, though in a way I found the incident amusing, my very being felt so so good. And even though I know myself all to well, for a moment I felt like "I was all that and a bag of chips" and boy did it feel nice. I hope by sharing a dream and telling someone when you have the feelings that don't come along everyday...that others can sure feel nice.
My blogs for the most part have been about things that I think ultimately can hinder the cause of Christianity and turn off those outside the faith community. I feel it is better to be real with the "world" so to speak, even air dirty laundry from time to time, rather than put up a united front to showcase our piety even if it is just surface stuff that may in time come crashing down like a house of cards.
For this blog I write about me...."being real" and open myself up to things that hopefully may resonate with others who are just part of the human family. And this I think is so important to do; show myself as a Christian in the broader context of being part of the human family. I'm sure many men and to a lesser degree women can identify with "checking out" members of the opposite sex. I, for one will never fail to miss a "bubble butt" or "quite a rack" that passes by even if I am busy doing other things. And like I said, the ladies I'm sure do this as well when some good "eye candy" passes their way. I believe for the most part people understand this and don't get overly judgmental about sexual beings checking out "hot" looking or just attractive people.
Of course this happens to married folks just as often as single, available people, and because of this, the subject of "looking but not touching" may get dicey if you mention to others that this is no big deal. But I as a married person am going to touch upon a far more provocative subject than just looking, one that is about feeling and connection that is "dicey' to say the least but one that I feel I need to tell.
I have had at least 4 (what I would call crushes) with other women since I have been married. These have been far away longings so to speak, with the objects of my affection having no idea of how I felt. I think these crushes had lots to do with the difficulties of married life; being so familiar with another person is not always such a good thing if you get my meaning. You can be married to someone, love them, and at the same time they may drive you to drink on occasion...lol! But whatever the thing that may cause a married man or woman's hear to stray doesn't really matter. The fact is sometimes you meet someone who is the "cat's meow", "all that and a bag of chips", whatever phrase captures you best.
I had a dream last night about someone who really is "putting an added skip to my step." I just was dreaming about walking with her on a shady road full of trees off to the side, and just by being with her and enjoying her company, life seemed so much like a glass of lemonade on a warm, spring day. I bring this up because this person may know herself oh so well, know her flaws, sin struggles, the things that hinder her from having the wonderful relationships that she longs for, yet I can see in her in the way that she longs to be seen. This is so rare and people need to hear that when the opportunity arises.
Thinking about an Olivia Newton Song years back, one line i particularly like is..."I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm not trying to make you feel anything at all, but this feeling doesn't come along everyday." Those special feelings that you have towards another member of the human family are so important to express even if one worries about "the so-called slippery slope" of maybe hurting a marriage. There is no reason to believe that telling someone how you feel about them is going to lead you to be obsessed with pursuing a relationship with them when you know it can and should not happen. This is the same as fearing enjoying pleasure means you will turn into a hedonist and end up being on nude beaches in Jamaica. God is a good shepherd who watches over His flock and will not let them go too far astray.
A couple of months ago I was leaving work, tired from another mundane afternoon and the battle scars of life in this world, when I stopped at a traffic signal. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a girl in a car to the right of me. She had a friend in the passenger seat who was punching her, looking all red and what appeared to be embarrassed. The driver was speaking to me and though I couldn't hear her, I was able to read her lips. She was saying, "She likes you," all the while this girl was banging on her shoulder furiously like a school girl who doesn't want the friend to tell the boy of a secret crush. I bring this up because, though in a way I found the incident amusing, my very being felt so so good. And even though I know myself all to well, for a moment I felt like "I was all that and a bag of chips" and boy did it feel nice. I hope by sharing a dream and telling someone when you have the feelings that don't come along everyday...that others can sure feel nice.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Enjoyment As Our HIghest Aim
If you were to ask many Christians today what they thought was the greatest Christian virtue, many I believe would answer unselfishness, or at least something along these lines. This is understandable since so much of scripture speaks about self-denial and the idea of "dying to self." Many prominent Christians would cite, "The Cost of Discipleship," as one of the best Christian books of the 20th Century, a book that deals at length with this notion of "dying to self." Yet while unselfishness is certainly a biblical theme, I believe it misses the point of what I think is most necessary when understanding human nature and how man ultimately can please God.
What exactly does please God? That is the $64,000 question is it not? For those who have faith and want to live and please God in all that they do, have to be aware of a certain principle or else they really can't worship God as they should. As much as we may laud the idea that humankind needs to be more altruistic and less individualistic in their daily lives we can't escape the simple fact that all men seek happiness. As Blaise Pascal writes, "This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will will take the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of man, even of those who hang themselves."
Agreeing with Pascal's premise about the human motive, I think a better virtue for Christians to strive for in their daily lives than unselfishness would be one to seek enjoyment. This, I understand, makes one shake their head and say "how can that be?" It seems to run contrary to everything Christianity is about. Or does it? Think about a time you may have read a book that you especially enjoyed. If you had the opportunity later on to meet the author and told him how much you enjoyed his book, is there a better way that you can show your appreciation for him than that? But I understand how you still may question how seeking enjoyment is the greatest of virtues. Could this be because of the fact that too often we see people seeking enjoyment by "making mud pies" as C.S. Lewis would call it?
Man by his very nature is a worshiping creature. All over the world at this very moment man is worshiping something. It could be work, play, philosophy, sports, entertainment...the list goes on and on. And we always will worship things that give us enjoyment even if it is in the most primal of ways. This is what C.S. Lewis means when he speaks of gaining enjoyment from making mud pies. Seeking enjoyment as our highest aim is not wrong, it is as natural a law among humans as is the law of gravity in nature. Where the problem lies however, and perhaps why Christians don't place a value on enjoyment, is the fact that so many find enjoyment in the most common of things. Not that all things common are bad. I enjoy going out weekly with my friends just to hang out and have a couple of beers . There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself. By contrast though I get to see my friends once a week at church where we share in the worship of our God and know the joy that comes with being one of God's covenant people. I know what it is to be basking in the sun at an exclusive resort as well as making mud pies. But for too many people, and not just those outside the household of faith but people in the kingdom as well, life is too many days creating mud pies like a toddler at the beach.
All the unselfish acts that we long to practice as Christians to help out our family, friends, and neighbors all need to go piggy back on our first enjoying God and knowing Him. Nothing else compares to God and the beauty of His very nature. Finding other ways to please God without making it ones highest desire to live as Psalm 37:4 says..."Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" is simply putting the cart before the horse.
In closing I'd like to make a reference to a book by John Piper that explains this subject in greater detail that I can. "Desiring God, Meditations of a Christian Hedonist" is a work that magnificently explores the idea of the Westminster Divines who penned the first question to the their shorter catechism to be, "What is the chief end of man?" The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. May we all come to learn that enjoyment is a good thing and may we find fulfilling enjoyment in knowing God.
What exactly does please God? That is the $64,000 question is it not? For those who have faith and want to live and please God in all that they do, have to be aware of a certain principle or else they really can't worship God as they should. As much as we may laud the idea that humankind needs to be more altruistic and less individualistic in their daily lives we can't escape the simple fact that all men seek happiness. As Blaise Pascal writes, "This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will will take the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of man, even of those who hang themselves."
Agreeing with Pascal's premise about the human motive, I think a better virtue for Christians to strive for in their daily lives than unselfishness would be one to seek enjoyment. This, I understand, makes one shake their head and say "how can that be?" It seems to run contrary to everything Christianity is about. Or does it? Think about a time you may have read a book that you especially enjoyed. If you had the opportunity later on to meet the author and told him how much you enjoyed his book, is there a better way that you can show your appreciation for him than that? But I understand how you still may question how seeking enjoyment is the greatest of virtues. Could this be because of the fact that too often we see people seeking enjoyment by "making mud pies" as C.S. Lewis would call it?
Man by his very nature is a worshiping creature. All over the world at this very moment man is worshiping something. It could be work, play, philosophy, sports, entertainment...the list goes on and on. And we always will worship things that give us enjoyment even if it is in the most primal of ways. This is what C.S. Lewis means when he speaks of gaining enjoyment from making mud pies. Seeking enjoyment as our highest aim is not wrong, it is as natural a law among humans as is the law of gravity in nature. Where the problem lies however, and perhaps why Christians don't place a value on enjoyment, is the fact that so many find enjoyment in the most common of things. Not that all things common are bad. I enjoy going out weekly with my friends just to hang out and have a couple of beers . There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself. By contrast though I get to see my friends once a week at church where we share in the worship of our God and know the joy that comes with being one of God's covenant people. I know what it is to be basking in the sun at an exclusive resort as well as making mud pies. But for too many people, and not just those outside the household of faith but people in the kingdom as well, life is too many days creating mud pies like a toddler at the beach.
All the unselfish acts that we long to practice as Christians to help out our family, friends, and neighbors all need to go piggy back on our first enjoying God and knowing Him. Nothing else compares to God and the beauty of His very nature. Finding other ways to please God without making it ones highest desire to live as Psalm 37:4 says..."Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" is simply putting the cart before the horse.
In closing I'd like to make a reference to a book by John Piper that explains this subject in greater detail that I can. "Desiring God, Meditations of a Christian Hedonist" is a work that magnificently explores the idea of the Westminster Divines who penned the first question to the their shorter catechism to be, "What is the chief end of man?" The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. May we all come to learn that enjoyment is a good thing and may we find fulfilling enjoyment in knowing God.
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