Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Just Wondering
Marriage is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. 24/7 proximity and seeing close at hand each others faults makes the relationship difficult. In the old testament there was polygamy and concubines. I can't imagine a second wife, but most men will admit to being attracted to other woman and even having connections to women either at work or other places. Men have affairs all the time and I just wonder if God had no clear ordinance against keeping a concubine how many men would jump at the chance.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Throwing of Flags
Coming up with the idea of a blog called, "Faith Unfiltered" I thought would be a cool idea to create some provocative discussions. However, I am becoming increasingly discouraged with the idea that you can delve into any controversial issues with Christians that will not include the typical "talking points" that Christians recite whenever topics fall outside of their comfort zones.
Still I plan on moving forward, heeding the charge of a radio minister I like, knowing that it is the duty of a Christian to make time to offend another Christian at least once a day. His charge is perhaps hyperbole, yet I find so much truth in it that I often find that I have to call my "brothers and sisters of the faith" to the carpet when they think so pedestrian in their Christian world view.
Some examples of what I mean are found on my "Facebook" page, the postmodern community networking site that millions flock to as an escapists playground. It's a fun little place to do the tag, hide n' go seek thing, but some decide that what is needed are overactive referees to come in and make sure that everyone is playing nice and following the rules. Did you ever notice that when you are watching sports that the best games are the ones when you never notice the referees? Same is true of facebook. Let things play out and really think hard before you are going to throw the flag on someone.
Christians are the most guilty of throwing flags, and the penalty most called has to do with sexual suggestiveness. This does exists and arguments can be made that it is inappropriate to use sexual images over public sites to perhaps incite flirting or lustful behavior which could be harmful to some people. However, the guidelines of what constitutes inappropriate images of sexual images, can vary tremendously from person to person, and some folks never even consider if there may be a valid reason or context of why one may post a provocative photo of someone on a public social networking site.
Let me give you 2 recent examples of things that got me into "hot water" with some of my Christian friends. One even decided to "defriend" me over a photo on my facebook site. I had been on a blog site of a friend of mine that discusses the objective philosophy of Ayn Rand and how he is writing a book about Christian Objectivism and how those who "follow" the philosophy of Ayn Rand can have a conversation with Christians about objective worldviews and see where there is common ground. This is an interesting idea and ambitious since Rand was an atheist and many would not want to take the time to engage in debate with "Randians" who are clearly anti-religion and anti-Christian. But back to the main point. On his site was a link to a blog site about libertarian views of government (something that I am particularly interested in and one that I believe Ayn Rand was astute on as well) and I decide to click and check it out.
One little blurb (unrelated to the general theme of this site I may add) that caught my eye was a reference to the 50's pinup, "Betty Page" who had just passed away in her 80's. Because this happened right before Christmas, the author of the blog posted of photo of her in a Santa hat. She also was nude, though strategically covered, the words Merry Christmas posted across her breasts. Under the photo was a quote from Page with these words...I paraphrase since I don't have the quote at hand, "After turning to the Lord Jesus late in my life, I realize that the funds that I have to preserve me late in my life, are from my work as a model and pinup girl." She then went on to say that she doesn't feel particularly bad about it, rather it is just the way it is.
I posted this on my facebook page with the photo which I think was germain to the quote and left the comment, "Interesting!" People can have any opinion on her quote, comment on it or not, and that's just the way I left it. What happened however took me by surprise. A friend was highly offended by the photo, accused me of somehow endorsing Betty page, and even made it seem like I was out to harm "children." There was no looking at context of what I was getting at, I'm sure no reading of the quote, nor any questions directly to me of why I put it there. All I know is that some people at church heard about it, and she was no longer on my friend's list. Obviously, she hit the delete button on facebook, twitched her nose like "Samantha Stevens" on the 60's show, "Bewitched" and poof....I was gone. Oh, well, as my boss at work says, "I will live to see another day."
Now the most recent example and perhaps a little more complicated, though I don't really think so, is my posting of a picture of Helen Mirren on my site. Facebook allows you to become "fans" of celebrities and this is one way for people who visit your site to know some things about you and perhaps get a feel for your personality. I like the actress Helen Mirren and I posted a photo of her on my site. She is looking into a mirror, putting on make-up, and she has on a dress that shows substantial cleavage. For a caption I put, ..."like the finest of wine." With this I got a comment like, "yeah, this looks like ___(wife's name). "What are you thinking?" I take it this implies that I shouldn't be looking at anybody but my wife, and why am I posting sexy women on my page, which I guess by "the Christian definition" is as the valley girls would say, "totally inapproriate."
As a person who wants to be "real" I wish to let you in on a secret. I work with the public and see many people every day. I also see many women on a daily basis. Many guys I work with often say when they see an attractive woman, "Isn't she hot?" For years after my conversion to Christianity, I felt at a loss as how to respond to that. Looking back I don't know why because my sentiments were clearly, "yes." I guess I felt that as a single person, or married person for that matter, I shouldn't be looking at women for their physical appeal or heaven forbid, their t & a so to speak, but, you know what, I was. It would be nice to say that I only have eyes for my wife, bride of my youth, but it isn't the real world. Women get my attention and I do look at them. I agree that it's not good to have the cavalier attitude that, "you can look but not touch" philosophy that many men have. This potentially leads many to become disenchanted with their spouse, checking out all the babes, and lead them to have unrealistic expectations of what their wives should look like.
Back to Helen Mirren though. Over the years she has played many roles and has showed great diversity as an actress. Honestly though, I have been very attracted to her confidence in her own skin and her comfort level with her sexuality. I realize that "biblically speaking" women are most highly prized when they are "modest" in their sexuality....something that I have no evidence that Helen Mirren is. Then again I have no reason to believe she is a Christian or the woman of "noble character" spoken of in Proverbs 31. I conceed that this is the type of woman I should find most appealing and many times I find charm in other kinds of women. To this I plead guilty and Christians can chide or challange me on this poiint. However, I still find Mirren, at least as far as her feminine characteristics go, intoxicating. Here is a woman, now 63, who ages gracefully and doesn't do the cosmetic thing. If anyone would have told me that at 46, I would find a 63 year old woman "stunning and sexy" I would never have believed it. One publication called her, "the thinking man's sex symbol" which I find to be right on the mark. Forgive my lack of humility if I consider myself a thinking man...lol!
Mirren was a looker and sexy from her early films like "Age of Consent" and the scandalous "Caligula", and even as the 2nd law of thermodynamis applies to her as well as all of us as we advance in years, she remains a looker and sexy in her 60's, "The Roman Spring of Mrs. Jones" she was 59 I believe. She may have a wrinkle, two or three that she didn't have in her 20's or 30's, but like fine wine she surely ages well.
I can hold this view totally apart from my relationship with my wife. My wife is the one I am with day in and day out. We have the better for worse, sickness and in health covenant of marriage. Helen Mirren is an actress and my sentiments about her just tell you a little bit about me and how I think. Now if I go around stalking Helen Mirren or have photos of her as a shrine all over my house, then you as a Christian can do the Joan Rivers..."Can we talk" kinda thing. But unless these things are obvious and you are certain of context, please do me a favor. Be a good referee and stay out of the way. We need less throwing of flags and more of thoughtful conversation.
Still I plan on moving forward, heeding the charge of a radio minister I like, knowing that it is the duty of a Christian to make time to offend another Christian at least once a day. His charge is perhaps hyperbole, yet I find so much truth in it that I often find that I have to call my "brothers and sisters of the faith" to the carpet when they think so pedestrian in their Christian world view.
Some examples of what I mean are found on my "Facebook" page, the postmodern community networking site that millions flock to as an escapists playground. It's a fun little place to do the tag, hide n' go seek thing, but some decide that what is needed are overactive referees to come in and make sure that everyone is playing nice and following the rules. Did you ever notice that when you are watching sports that the best games are the ones when you never notice the referees? Same is true of facebook. Let things play out and really think hard before you are going to throw the flag on someone.
Christians are the most guilty of throwing flags, and the penalty most called has to do with sexual suggestiveness. This does exists and arguments can be made that it is inappropriate to use sexual images over public sites to perhaps incite flirting or lustful behavior which could be harmful to some people. However, the guidelines of what constitutes inappropriate images of sexual images, can vary tremendously from person to person, and some folks never even consider if there may be a valid reason or context of why one may post a provocative photo of someone on a public social networking site.
Let me give you 2 recent examples of things that got me into "hot water" with some of my Christian friends. One even decided to "defriend" me over a photo on my facebook site. I had been on a blog site of a friend of mine that discusses the objective philosophy of Ayn Rand and how he is writing a book about Christian Objectivism and how those who "follow" the philosophy of Ayn Rand can have a conversation with Christians about objective worldviews and see where there is common ground. This is an interesting idea and ambitious since Rand was an atheist and many would not want to take the time to engage in debate with "Randians" who are clearly anti-religion and anti-Christian. But back to the main point. On his site was a link to a blog site about libertarian views of government (something that I am particularly interested in and one that I believe Ayn Rand was astute on as well) and I decide to click and check it out.
One little blurb (unrelated to the general theme of this site I may add) that caught my eye was a reference to the 50's pinup, "Betty Page" who had just passed away in her 80's. Because this happened right before Christmas, the author of the blog posted of photo of her in a Santa hat. She also was nude, though strategically covered, the words Merry Christmas posted across her breasts. Under the photo was a quote from Page with these words...I paraphrase since I don't have the quote at hand, "After turning to the Lord Jesus late in my life, I realize that the funds that I have to preserve me late in my life, are from my work as a model and pinup girl." She then went on to say that she doesn't feel particularly bad about it, rather it is just the way it is.
I posted this on my facebook page with the photo which I think was germain to the quote and left the comment, "Interesting!" People can have any opinion on her quote, comment on it or not, and that's just the way I left it. What happened however took me by surprise. A friend was highly offended by the photo, accused me of somehow endorsing Betty page, and even made it seem like I was out to harm "children." There was no looking at context of what I was getting at, I'm sure no reading of the quote, nor any questions directly to me of why I put it there. All I know is that some people at church heard about it, and she was no longer on my friend's list. Obviously, she hit the delete button on facebook, twitched her nose like "Samantha Stevens" on the 60's show, "Bewitched" and poof....I was gone. Oh, well, as my boss at work says, "I will live to see another day."
Now the most recent example and perhaps a little more complicated, though I don't really think so, is my posting of a picture of Helen Mirren on my site. Facebook allows you to become "fans" of celebrities and this is one way for people who visit your site to know some things about you and perhaps get a feel for your personality. I like the actress Helen Mirren and I posted a photo of her on my site. She is looking into a mirror, putting on make-up, and she has on a dress that shows substantial cleavage. For a caption I put, ..."like the finest of wine." With this I got a comment like, "yeah, this looks like ___(wife's name). "What are you thinking?" I take it this implies that I shouldn't be looking at anybody but my wife, and why am I posting sexy women on my page, which I guess by "the Christian definition" is as the valley girls would say, "totally inapproriate."
As a person who wants to be "real" I wish to let you in on a secret. I work with the public and see many people every day. I also see many women on a daily basis. Many guys I work with often say when they see an attractive woman, "Isn't she hot?" For years after my conversion to Christianity, I felt at a loss as how to respond to that. Looking back I don't know why because my sentiments were clearly, "yes." I guess I felt that as a single person, or married person for that matter, I shouldn't be looking at women for their physical appeal or heaven forbid, their t & a so to speak, but, you know what, I was. It would be nice to say that I only have eyes for my wife, bride of my youth, but it isn't the real world. Women get my attention and I do look at them. I agree that it's not good to have the cavalier attitude that, "you can look but not touch" philosophy that many men have. This potentially leads many to become disenchanted with their spouse, checking out all the babes, and lead them to have unrealistic expectations of what their wives should look like.
Back to Helen Mirren though. Over the years she has played many roles and has showed great diversity as an actress. Honestly though, I have been very attracted to her confidence in her own skin and her comfort level with her sexuality. I realize that "biblically speaking" women are most highly prized when they are "modest" in their sexuality....something that I have no evidence that Helen Mirren is. Then again I have no reason to believe she is a Christian or the woman of "noble character" spoken of in Proverbs 31. I conceed that this is the type of woman I should find most appealing and many times I find charm in other kinds of women. To this I plead guilty and Christians can chide or challange me on this poiint. However, I still find Mirren, at least as far as her feminine characteristics go, intoxicating. Here is a woman, now 63, who ages gracefully and doesn't do the cosmetic thing. If anyone would have told me that at 46, I would find a 63 year old woman "stunning and sexy" I would never have believed it. One publication called her, "the thinking man's sex symbol" which I find to be right on the mark. Forgive my lack of humility if I consider myself a thinking man...lol!
Mirren was a looker and sexy from her early films like "Age of Consent" and the scandalous "Caligula", and even as the 2nd law of thermodynamis applies to her as well as all of us as we advance in years, she remains a looker and sexy in her 60's, "The Roman Spring of Mrs. Jones" she was 59 I believe. She may have a wrinkle, two or three that she didn't have in her 20's or 30's, but like fine wine she surely ages well.
I can hold this view totally apart from my relationship with my wife. My wife is the one I am with day in and day out. We have the better for worse, sickness and in health covenant of marriage. Helen Mirren is an actress and my sentiments about her just tell you a little bit about me and how I think. Now if I go around stalking Helen Mirren or have photos of her as a shrine all over my house, then you as a Christian can do the Joan Rivers..."Can we talk" kinda thing. But unless these things are obvious and you are certain of context, please do me a favor. Be a good referee and stay out of the way. We need less throwing of flags and more of thoughtful conversation.
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