I Don't Know What To Do

During the last couple of days I have been trying to count the ways that God Has been good to me. It's easy to complain when difficulties are right in front of your nose, but it is even easier to take for granted the ways God has provided to you time and time again. But even knowing that I have to say I still find it hard to trust in God when I can't see solutions right in front of me.

Watching "Hannah and Her Sisters" over the weekend made me laugh. I find Woody Allen movies so funny because as the saying goes, "It's funny cause it's true." I am not as obvious a nervous wreck as Allen characters are, but I always find myself worrying about even the most mundane of matters like being late for work. I worry about things that I have a great deal of control over, so you can imagine what I am like when I have no control or I just don't know what to do.

What is so unfortunate about this is that there is a long line of history that assures me there is no reason to worry. As the writer of 2nd Chronicles points out when he quotes Jehoshaphat who says, "O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not a God in heaven."? This is a reference of know God has helped His children throughout human history. He then speaks of how God has intervened time and time again to help His people who are the descendants of Abraham, His friend.

Examples of God's faithfulness are not just stories to read in the bible. They happen to me time and again yet when I am facing a difficult situation, (the worrying, Woody Allen type kinds that go on in my head....I dooooon't knoooow what to do!) I always seem to forget the fact that the God of my fathers has come through for me before. In fact it was not long along where financial times were so tight that we had the electricity turned off for 2 days cause we got way behind on some bills. Inflation, gas prices, other things were putting the cash flow right to the limit. In fact as I looked at options I only saw gloom and doom cause we kept robbing Peter to pay Paul on so many bills and it was just a matter of time when one of the cars would break down and we would have no way to pay for repairs. Then gas prices dropped quickly and dramatically. Along with this my company decided that I could work a 4 day work week instead of 5, saving me 70 miles in round trip a week. In no time my 220 dollars in gas per month (for my car alone) dropped to about 100. This couldn't have come at a better time and though financial times are very tough I do have some breathing room.

The last verse in 2nd Chronicles chapter 20 reads, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you (ESV)." This may be one of the very best summaries of the life of the Christian. Lately things have been very difficult in my marriage. There are too many things that have just gone south between my wife and I and it seems we are always saying the wrong things to each other and I feel marriage is on so many levels just not worth it. It's so hard, I am at a lost to make things better, and I am very discouraged. Let me remember that my God, the God of my fathers, is a God who reigns in heaven. Though I may not know what to do, God is never without answers and always provides for His children. He has done it in the past and more importantly He will do it in the future. May I look forward to God's future rainbows when the skies above me are dark and dreary.