Johnny's Psalm

O' Lord, again i am here
my heart toubled, and yes, selfish
i'm able to keep the thought from passing through my lips,
yet my heart is still corrupt..."another f***ing day"

free my soul from this bondage, My God Almighty,
on and on and on, i think of me, and complain
Lord, redeem me from my ungreatful ways,
why, why, o' Lord do i seek my ease, my enjoyment

my heart is wicked, yea, i am a sinful man
Lord, many days i hate and fight your ways,
those around me seem to prosper and have more fun,
yet Lord, where could i go?

it's so simple, Lord...yet i fight, deny your greatness,
deny You are God, oh that i only have a glimpse of my
utter wickedness..i could not bare it.
i sin Lord, and for just two horrible reasons.

i want to do what is right with me, what's fun for me.
i feel, deep down, that you are not good...if you were,
you'd leave me alone.
my heart is deceitful, Lord...and where could i go?

i follow my own ways, my sinful ways...over and over,
cause You, My Lord, aren't powerful,
you can't deliver me from the power and bondage of sin,
Lord, my sin is great...please, please forgive me

Where is the grace of God?
Lord, let me taste and see that the Lord is good,
and in a sinful, dark, world,
let me see the God who parted the Red Sea

Lord, i need rest
i sin over and over again,
i wonder if i make any progress,
Lord, love me...i am your child Johnny

and Lord, like me too
show me that not only are you preparing me...
yea, to be more like Jesus (is this really true, my Lord?)
but show me that you like spending time with me.

Lord, i may be back soon..tomorrow or maybe in just an hour,
be patient with me, hear my psalm...your boy, Johnny's psalm,
He hurts, he's weak, he doubts, he fears, he's stubborn,
yet Lord, i'm yours, and because of Jesus, the cross, hear my prayer

Some Old poetry

I got some old stuff when I was in a poetry phase...man, so unlike me. Still I got quite a few and I thought I would cut and paste some. Unfiltered means I'll show all sides of me. Love some feedback!

that we would not slip

hate, despise, and take no delight
Lord, let not these feeling be made against us,
O' that our worship be not a stench

may we not be hypocrites...pleasing you by our good deeds
O' that our dress, our smiles, our attendance in your courts,
be not like burnt or grain offerings

Lord, that our hearts are broken and contrite
may our music, our songs, overflow with devotion...
and repentence, or you will not hear

O' that we would not slip...stumble as the saints of old,
may we trust in Your grace, and not in ourselves,
knowing that we're to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God

The Groom's Intention

being here, the wedding of a close friend,
it's a beautiful day;
the sun, the backdrop of boats on the ocean...
all is perfect and right in the world.

the message...the charge given to the groom.
at first it's just background music,
my thoughts are simply of the peace of the day,
even the ant walking on my sandal, well, i'm content to leave him be.

yet then words hit me...gravity like an apple
falling from a tree,
INTENTION, the groom chose his bride purposely,
with that...a singular event, a wedding, brought to me the wider context.

it was a purposeful act, done with intention,
Our Father set out do find a bride for His beloved son,
that bride is the church...those who are chosen,
and the bridegroom is Our Lord Jesus...and He who calls us is faithful.

but this marriage is not secured by a ring...not even the most
loftiest of carats, no it's bought by a willing sacrifice,
a groom laying down His life for His bride, securing a marriage
that will last all through eternity.

and the INTENTION is this, one that should not fail to capture
the brides love and adoration,
the sacrifice...a degrading death on a cross,
was not intended that all men COULD be saved,
no, its INTENTION was that the groom's bride WOULD be saved.
*************************************************************************

Matthew 1:21 "And she will bring forth a son, and you shall call His name
Jesus, for He WILL save HIS people from their sins."

No Small Task

I made a profession of faith to Christ in the early 80's but it wasn't until 1987 that I began attending a "bible" church. After about 2 years there I realized the church had crazy cult-like beliefs and fortunately I was able to get out of there before the church came crashing down amid a scandal.

While I was there I had been warned several times that there were things not right about the church. But I was never interested in any of the warnings because this was "my place" and these were "my people." I wish I had a tape recorder of some of the arguments I would make with critics of the church, and I was never short of reasons why the church was sound. Amazing how when something is important to you and you like it, you can come up with all kinds of convoluted reasons for why you like it there.

I think reason has little effect when you have discourse with someone who you disagree with. And I think that is greatly in part because people like what they believe and have yet to find out that it is broken. I was watching a a Christian station and was watching a preacher spit out false teaching to a huge flock of adoring worshipers. Now if I had a chance to explain to them why they were receiving wrong teaching, even documenting several inconsistencies with their own doctrine, I doubt it would make a difference to them. As a matter of fact I bet they would come right back at me confidently defending their own position, doing it in a way that makes no sense at all, while at the same time be convinced that I was the bad guy.

This has everything to do with me attacking "their place" and "their people." Somehow we as orthodox Christians seem to think that knowing the truth is the most important thing for people of faith. We believe that those who are genuinely converted will somehow pick up on erroneous teaching and make it a priority to follow "sound doctrine." This is not how life works it seems to me, at least not with many people. The reason many crazy churches work is because they speak the language and have the pulse of the people. I realize this is hard to measure, yet some preachers are very good at it and therefore find people who love their ministry and love their pastor as an apostle-like figure.

So how do you find a way to stir people away from a church that is ultimately bad for them and maybe in the future leaves them shipwrecked from the faith. First, we need to be aware that the people who are there are there because the church works for them and language is being spoken that resonates with them. As crazy as a ministry may be, we have to admit that these places may be a safe haven from where a person has come from. I have many fond memories from my crazy church even though there was damage done from attending it for 2 years. And with the knowledge that at least on a belonging and surface level that the church works for people we have to kindly come up with ways to get them to explain to us specifically how the church works for them. If they come up with a crazy premise, say something like, "I haven't heard of that before can you tell me more about it."

Having said that I think it is far more likely that we will have to be there for them when things fall apart due to the aberrant or heretical teaching that will not nourish the soul. Hence the "my people/my place" glue will slowly come apart. Then we need to find them a place that has "sound doctrine" yet still speaks the language and has the pulse of the people. This is no small task yet I find that both are of equal value.

Thoughts On Health

There is lots of talk about health care in Washington and how to make it a affordable and even universal to all. One of the things that has been pushed in the past several years is prevention. Public services announcements flock the airwaves with the dangers of cigarettes, the importance of exercise, and others. Many private sector groups have jumped on the bandwagon offering fitness plans to employees, schools have taken out sugar and soda pop from lunch menus and so on. One can argue that this is a good thing and may curb health expenses down the line and may save the country millions of dollars down the line, who knows?

Of course there are those who feel so strongly about it that they vigorously wish to find ways to mandate lots of health measures feeling the public may not be wise enough for their own good, so their are creative ways to coerce Jane and John Doe to "do the right thing." These can include banning "unhealthy" products or levying substantial taxes on things that ultimately may lead to heart disease, cancer, or other who knows what.

This got me to thinking about Jesus and how a relationship with him would be a most healthy thing for people. I know from experience that believing in Him and being a part of a church would make people healthier both physically and spiritually. I guess like a parent would do with his child, I could find those on my streets who know nothing about the love of Jesus and have no interesting in hearing me tell them about Him, maybe I could just round them up, make them come to church and bible studies with me, have them subject to all the benefits of the medicine that Christianity can bring, and in time they would feel better and their countenance and health would be demonstrably better. Of course I would have to force them and state laws may not allow me to do that, but hey wouldn't it be a good idea?

Most know that we don't do things that way in a free society. We may inform, encourage, try to persuade others to do things we sincerely believe will help them, but at the end of the day we let them make their own decision. But though most probably aren't cool with Big Brother type of stuff from those conducting public policy, many are fine with information being passed on that may pinch a nerve or two or some folks and how they live. Hence, people who smoke and are overweight often take a hit in our culture.

This brings me to an observation that I've discovered thanks to the new book, "Outliers," by Malcolm Gladwell. He became aware of a place in Pennsylvania called Roseto. The small town originated back in the mid 1800's when a group of Italians from Roseto, Italy arrived in the new world America and made a home of their own. A physician discovered that people who lived in the town of 2200 hardly ever had heart disease, they were considerably lower than the national average. In fact after looking back over the 100+ years of the town's history researchers discovered very few health problems with the people of Roseto. No suicides, little depression, little crime, few cases of ulcers, cancer, alcoholism, all in all the people were remarkably healthy and most died of old age.

What is the reason for this and how can this perhaps be used for public information so that others can learn what makes these people so different? Well, much of what was learned has to be discouraging to those invested in the health community and the information being spread to help the population become healthier. The people in Roseto cooked not with Olive oil but rather with lard which made their diet about 40 percent saturated fat. There was very little exercise going on with the folks in the town, in fact the majority of the folks were obese. It was also observed that many of the people smoke cigarettes. Researchers discovered time and time again that the people living in the town had a lifestyle that should have made them very unhealthy.

But was their lifestyle unhealthy? Researches decided to carefully observe the people of the town and see how they lived. Each day the folks spent time engaging with their neighbors; hanging out on the porch, having meals together, doing things with their children together. The people of the town who made the most money never flaunted it or bought extravagant things, and commonly they would help out those who had less. The town had 22 civic organizations which is a remarkable number for a town that size. The people all worshiped at the same church and they all retained their native Italian language. Marriages were intact, divorces unheard of. And it was common to see 3 generations living under one roof. Researchers wondered if maybe community and relationships played perhaps more a role in health than anyone ever imagined.

I'm giving out this information. Process it as you wish. I doubt you will hear much about a lifesyle like this over the public airwaves as a form of prevention to help alleviate public health costs. We don't want to judge people and tell them that divorce might be a bad thing, or that maybe we shouldn't move far away from our parents once we get a spouse and career, or tell people later when parents get old that it may be better to have them move in with us than be sent off to a nursing home, or to tell people to try out a church even if they may not be into it at first. No we can't do that because it is judgmental and it might hurt somebody's feelings. Funny how we don't mind singling out the smoker or the chunky housewife and their one or two bad habits, but we are uncomfortable looking at a person's life as a whole. I guess this hits too close to home.

Davey Crockett, and ex-girlfriend, and other characters or outsiders

I am not a great student of history. I enjoy the stuff actually but I am a victim of public schooling and laziness quite frankly so I can't properly evaluate many famous historical characters. I was flipping stations on t.v. the other night and came across "The Alamo" movie with Billy Bob Thornton as Davey Crockett. It was the tale end of the film so I didn't bother to watch it, yet it got me to thinking. Man, it was an incredibly different world not that long ago. I often wonder how characters like Davey Crockett, Lewis and Clarke, others from the pages of history textbooks would fit in to the 21st century. I think of this particularly in light of the fact that all people generally are sort of the same in today's world.

I know that there are all different kinds of people and even personalities so that is not what I mean. What I mean is that people who truly are different and are real characters have a hard time fitting in unless they are so talented that they can afford the label eccentric or "a real character." I wonder how many people in our society may be homeless or in prison because they just have always felt outsiders wherever they may be. Perhaps Davey Crockett would have been classified as having ADHD if he were growing up today. Who knows? I know now that society has an outlet for the real testosterone, courageous tough guys who can find a niche in Ultimate Fighting. A good thing I guess.

Brings me to the church. I've talked to many people who seem to understand the gospel, claim to be Christian, yet never go to church. I can easily point out to them the error of their position of it's "just me an Jesus" individualism. I also think one may use that as a smokescreen because a good church will preach about sin and cause conviction and clearly it is good to weed out those people who really aren't serious about following Christ. Still, there is reason for me to think that those things that make one an "outsider" in the world, then I am sure they exist within the walls of the church, perhaps even more so.

An ex-girlfriend of mine made me aware of this years ago. Many times we end up in relationships because of close proximity. I met my first girlfriend on the job and I'm sure if we met at another place we would have never "hooked up" so to speak. She was a tomboy to say the least and so non-intellectual, yet she was so trusting of people and just a deep down good person. She was the person who first brought me to church and we were together for about a year. And over that time I tried to change her, tried to refine her, make her more presentable. I wanted her to read more, go back to school, quit smoking, and a few other things. While I was doing that she also sensed the same thing happening at church only it was different. Nobody at church to my knowledge ever said anything to her but she clearly felt like an outsider there. Women's groups were totally foreign to her and she always want to hang out with guys over girls ( and she sure could throw a fastball..lol!) Many people who first join churches feel like outsiders but because they wish to "belong" they observe and find a way to fit into the mold. I guess because some new people join churches and find "their way" that many in the pulpit and in the pews tend to take a hands off approach to new faces walking in the door. This is not going to happen for some new faces and nor should it. I admire people who remain true to themselves and don't become a cookie cutter Christian and quickly latch on to the Christian sub-culture. Unfortunately these authentic people often are left behind and are shipwrecked from the joys of being part of the family of God.

I have no answer as to how the culture is going to condescend to those out here who may have been valued in a different time or a different place. Most likely there will be those who will slip through the cracks because no one is giving them direction on where an "ADHD" or another misfit person may succeed here in America. But as far as the church goes should'nt this be a different matter? Shouldn't we as followers of Christ, rather than be above the fray of the so-called "character," "outsider," or "misfit"....instead should we not condescend to make those "unlike" us feel the joy of "belonging, while at the same time feel no need or urgency to make them more "like us?"

Professionalization of Faith and Politics

I never want to shy away from mixing faith and politics particularly when it makes for some good discourse. Now that President Obama has taken the oath of office, I've been thinking of some things that I believe are an indicator of where our culture currently is at. I'm not going to say that Americans are all about style over substance, though that argument can be made, but rather I am going to make an observation about our citizenry wanting professionals running the show both in government and maybe even in our churches.

I thought of this as I watched a recent interview with former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. I'm sure there are those who were against Palin for reasons other than what I am about to bring up, still I have observed and heard in public debate from many casual voters (the determining voter factor in who will ultimately be elected) that Palin was "unqualified" to run for the second highest position in the free word. But upon close examination it was clear to me that these same casual voters were uncomfortable with Palin because she was just not professional enough. Before I go further let me give the reader of this blog a definition of terms. Most debate gets stifled because of a disagreement of how to define terms. I am using the term professional (perhaps incorrectly) more in the context of one who has high academic training and is an excellent communicator. As a "professional" Sarah Palin fell way short. She may have had a fan base who liked her for different reasons; endearing, mom, charasmatic, etc. but among the masses of non partisan voters she never had a chance.

What's wrong with this? Many who may accept my definition of professional may say, "What's wrong with electing politicians or having pastors for that matter who are high in academic training and excellent, even inspiring communicators?" Well, on first glance nothing. I thing leaders should be smart and know how to articulate their views. What is more problematic is how we place a premium on people being "more smart, more articulate" than what may be necessary. In life it would be ideal if all leaders were both good talkers and good doers. More often though there are talkers and there are doers. And just as the biblical book of James describes 'Faith without works being dead," likewise, reason would conclude that talking without doiing is dead.

Leadership requires making decisions. For a president of a country and a pastor of a church this requires executive ability. Many who have had this ability (hopefully along with ability and a dependance upon God) throughout history have not been the smoothe James Bond figure that Barrack Obama seems to be. Great leaders from history, if their lives would be brought to the silver screen, many would look rather "ordinary." But we live in a very visual world where a premium is placed on appearing "presidential" and Obama fits that mold beautifully. This world is far removed from the one where Eisenhower became president simply because he was a General and known as a great leader of men.

I lament this "professionalization of politics" and unfortunatly as in many other areas of culture people of faith seem to follow the same course. Consider the ministry of megachurch pastor Joel Osteen, who like Obama speeks of hope and many other feel good buzz terms, and looks great behind a pulpit. The only difference may be that people of faith don't seem quite as smitten with the academic credentials that political voters do. Whether this is a benefit or not means little to me. What does matter and what question we should be asking to our postmodern culture is....What role does character play in who we choose to be leaders in our secular and spiritual worlds?