A Different Road

I have yet to see the film, "Revolutionary Road" with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not sure what the film is about not do I know what is the significance of its title. I am interested in the use of the word road as a metaphor. It is an effective word picture and I am sure many who are making a decision that could ultimately change the course of their lives are familiar with the idea of facing the so-called "fork in the road."

There are also meaningful references to roads in Holy Writ that should give us pause and cause us to examine our lives. Saul of Tarsus, later the Apostle Paul, had a meeting with Jesus Christ while on the Damascus Road which made him confront his role in persecuting Christians and having them put to death. But the most important reference to a road in scripture is the idea of a "narrow" road that leads to life and a "broad" road that leads to destruction.

Rather than get into a conventional explanation of how a broad life implies a libertine, eat, drink, and be merry epicurean type of existence, or being a worldly do gooder without any care or concern for God is not what I wish to address, though it is of value. Nor do I want to demonstrate how living a pious, holy life, one that focuses more on eternal matters than temporal satisfaction or pleasure, though that certainly has great merit.

I am here to bring up the notion of a different road; one that falls under the umbrella of a "narrow" way or road, but I think it is one not much discussed and one that may make many uncomfortable. This is fine because the goal of a preacher or one who wishes to write about matters of faith should be two-fold; one to comfort the afflicted and the other to afflict the comfortable.

I believe one of the most popular and potentially damaging bumper sticker slogans for Christians is the "better safe than sorry" idea. It carries so much weight of course because on many levels it is true. You could decide to not lock your car when you stop off at the store for a few moments and probably not have your vehicle stolen. But who would disagree that it is "better safe than sorry." And while that practical advice is good in that instance, too often I believe, people take that idea, and this occurs with many good ideas, simply too far.

In his excellent book, "Blue Like Jazz" Don Miller writes about growing up in a conservative Christian home and how mortified his family was when he determined to go to a university in Oregon that was considered to be one of the most liberal and promiscuous in the country. His initial decision to go there was motivated by his desire to "cut loose" so to speak and be part of a place so unlike his own universe that he thought it would be fun. But what Miller discovered while being in the college was how much of a risk he was taking by being there. He soon discovered that many of the students he met there, many who would become his friends, challenged his faith and made him realize how he could learn from others, even those who had a world view that was completely different from his.

What Miller did was take a risk. This was far from playing it safe. While befriending a girl on campus, he realized just how far he had to get to enter her world and get to know her better.He went to poetry readings about homosexuality, went to bars where people did much more than just drink alcohol, all kinds of places that Christians are supposed to avoid..."come out from among them and be ye separate" type of thinking. By gaining her trust he began to share the person of Jesus Christ and hoped to show her His love. Miller frankly shares how his discussions with his friend rarely appeared to gain no traction. She seemed entirely without interest in Christ or Christianity. Miller was discouraged because in so many ways his friend was such a nice person, highly intelligent, and so willing to accept others and do good things.

Throughout the relationship, Miller's commented on how his friend made a point to tell him how she didn't like his message but she enjoyed him and valued their relationship. She sensed there was something different about him and she couldn't quite understand why he wished to spend time with her; particularly in light of her liberal, live and let live lifestlye, and how she often would poke fun of Christianity and at Christians. Something happened one time when Miller was consoling his friend during a difficult day. Inevitably when we have close friends, there will be times when all of us will feel a need to share our sadness and vulnerability...all part of being human, no one is exempt. After a time of listening and offering hope to a hurting young college girl, gentling sharing Christ's love with her, the young girl turned to Miller and he could see that a "light" went on. After a moment of silence she spoke to her friend these words and I paraphrase (since I lent out this book and am using recall) "Jesus was a revolutionary, a beautiful revoltionary, and I see this because I see you as one too." She then began to cry and say that she didn't know how much she could believe about all the claims of Christianity but she did know that she wanted to know more about "this revolutionary Jesus."

Thinking about this wonderful testimony of God and His love, I can't help but mention the limitations of the "better safe than sorry" idea, and is not the true Christian ideal, the road we are to follow is one that is not at all safe, no it is more a revolutionary road....one that takes great risk, but one that may yield great reward.

I conclude with a personal story and may I state that I am not telling anyone exactly what they need to do to get out of their safe comfortable lives. I just hope that people do examine whether it is a good thing in life...."to move out of the city and head for the suburbs." Years ago when my wife and I got married we thought it might be a good idea to become foster parents. We decided to give it a go, we knew others who did it, so we moved forward to explore the process. When we discussed placement options my wife and I decided upon teenage girls. Rather than be placed with small children, ones who may ultimately be reunified with a non ideal family situation, we thought that having teenagers, ones we could share life lessons with and model healthy relationships would give us the best opportunity to "make a difference."

After several months of interviews, background checks, and finding a suitable girl to take in, my wife became pregnant. Family and church members close to us asked us if we would withdraw from the process. Well meaning people freely gave us advice, typically along the "better safe than sorry" lines. "You need to protect your new family, who knows what these kids in state care are about, what they have been subject too, and obviously God is closing the door on this means of ministry at this time. You are newly married, a newborn on the way, and this need to be your focus. God has given you more than enough to handle." This, of course, is sound practical advice, advice that many would agree with. We however decided to move forward in the process and eventually were placed with a 13 year old girl named Felicia who lived with us for over a year.

Why did we decide to go ahead and be foster parents? It had to do with a revolutionary named Jesus Christ who said His Kingdom was not of this world....and " better safe than sorry" is definitely the road and the wisdom of the world. And by the way, Felicia is 28 today with a 10 year old son. We see her and "Joey" regularly and have for several years. So yes our great risk did yield great reward and though Felicia does not follow Christ in her life, I hope in some way she has a visit with Him when she spends time with our family. Perhaps the road we took was not revolutionary but just a risk we decided to take. Whatever you call it, people who have sacrificed their own comfort and made a risky investment in the lives of others, ask those who benefited from those who chose to take a risk, if it did not often yield revolutionary results

Repercussions of "girl talk" or God "taking someone out"

My wife is an opinionated lady so sometimes it comes as a surprise to me when somebody says something, something that I know she disagrees with, and she just moves on. In fact when I've mentioned this on a few occasions she says she only vaguely remembers the comment in question. I've noticed that this occurs in the context of "girl talk" or trying to establish a relationship with someone new.

This got me to thinking why so many thoughtful, intelligent people can listen to some outlandish things and seem to not blink an eye. Sometimes when I watch a Christian worship service, I will hear a televangelist say something clearly off the wall and the congregation will nod in approval and holler out "amen." I wonder if what is going on here is not so much about people actually believing what is said , but is more about what occurs from time to time with my wife during "girl talk" or building a new relationship.
I would characterize this under "church talk" or" trying to fit in" that may explain this puzzling behavior of listening to some nonsense. One may argue my premise that the folks in question are actually intelligent or thoughtful, maybe they are simple sheep looking for a shepherd. I would be biased if I were to say that my wife is intelligent and thoughtful so maybe all those in the congregation are just simpletons.

Still think about this for a moment. Would you not agree that all humans (bright and slow) are relational beings and because of this they really long for a sense of belonging. Would it be surprising that in a busy world where time is hard to come by, that those who had a yearning for spiritual things and who wished to belong to something...that maybe that desire for relationship may cause them to turn off their brains and their ears just a bit.

Let me give an example of something that happened at my church recently. Those in the presbyterian denomination tend to be more anal about theology and making sure things are explained precisely. Many here have jobs that require considerable intelligence and some have advanced degrees. Still there are things that may be said that are way out there and may still fly under the radar, at least with some folks. Years ago I went to a church that was a bit crazy to be charitable. This makes me sensitive to aberrant thinking and helped me catch on to a comment made from the pews at a recent adult sunday school class. I know some folks there caught on to it but I'm not sure how many.

We had been discussing communion or "The Lord's Supper" and how serious are its implications. Scripture states that if we partake unworthily we will place ourselves into judgment and may even die. One of our church members then commented on how he saw a pastor "taken out" right in the middle of the service during communion. On first glance this may seem okay to say and it is a curious thing that someone would die during the partaking of the Lord's table during communion. But let me ask this. Did anyone ever prove this pastor was engaged in sinful behavior prior to his death? Did anyone consider that this pastor's death may have been appointed by God as a means to wake up somebody else in the congregation of their particular sinfulness? How bout this. Could it be possible that cause and effect may be taking place and the pastor just finished his 10,000 bacon cheeseburger the night before and this finally clogged his arteries ( that hadn't been checked for years) to the point where a massive heart attack was inevitable?

Why is this important and why be so sensitive about conclusions reached from scripture? You may say that there was no harm in using this pastor as an example to gain attention even if may not be accurate. I disagree. First from the example of the book of Job we should not conclude that when bad things happen to someone it is because they were in sin. Second and perhaps more important for Christians is this. We should do what we can not to look like unthoughtful idiots to others. At any time skeptics or unbelievers may walk into the "household of faith" to see what is going on. And just as I have noticed how foolish this "girl talk" or "church talk" can look when you are on the outside looking in, imagine how it is to skeptics or unbelievers who walk in and see people who may have dulled their brains a bit or stopped being inquisitive all for the sake of "belonging" and "relationships."

More Than Just a Playground

For a good five years or so I have been on some form of social networking site. I'm certainly not alone in this; millions and millions of people of all ages have a myspace, facebook, twitter, or some other page that they go on from time to time. I imagine there are all sorts of reasons people create these places for themselves, but I guess a big reason is that it can be fun. It's a big giant playground of sorts. This is not a bad thing to help break up a day. Even if you are just on here to say, "Whatup dude"...that's probably better than frying your brain to a 125th rerun of "Spongebob Squarepants" while eating a giant bag of doritos. Still, thinking about why I go on here as often as I do, and I'm sure others will agree, there has to be to going on here than just hanging out at the playground.

Many people have jobs that leave them unsatisfied. I'm being charitable when others may more accurately describe them as "dead end" jobs. Years ago some Christian authors wrote a book, "Your Work Matters to God." This book tried to help people realize that all work was of value to God, there was no difference between the so-called secular and the sacred, and people should do their honest jobs all to the "glory of God." To their credit the authors did a good job and I'm sure their thesis on the value of work was helpful to many. Perhaps some took a second look at their job and learned to be content at the job they found so dull and uninspiring. As for me though, I found only temporarily relief in that worldview and before long I was asking, "Can we be real?"

Most of us are at work at least 8 hours of our day or a third of our day. If we sleep 8 hours a day then half of our day is spent in the workplace. Our hours here shape us and mold us in many ways into the people we become to those who see us outside of work; family, friends, neighbors. Let's say you pick up trash, or work in retail, or some other mundane job...a question I ask is this. Would you be missed if you were to die tomorrow? I'm not speaking about your co-workers or people you have relationships with, but rather would your work be missed or would you just be replaced by someone else and everything would proceed without missing a beat?

See work needs to have meaning. Malcolm Gladwell in his laterst book, "Outliers" describes 3 elements that are vital for "meaningful work." One is a person need a reasonable amount of autonomy. Tim Conway and the rest of the cast of the "Carol Burnett Show" didn't have complete autonomy of the humor they could use on CBS, but certainly they were permitted enough freedom where they probably never even thought of restrictions. This was different for Lenny Bruce obviously who fought against censorship because he thought he had no chance of being funny without "pushing the envelope" so to speak. A second is creativity in work. People need variety in work and having a chance to put their own signature on their work. Even building something as simple as a holiday display at a retail store qualifies as doing something different. Lastly, people need to know there is greater reward for harder work. The more songs a song writer can create the greater chance he has at fame an fortune. A dishwasher still gets paid the same after an 8 hour shift no matter how many dishes he washes. I'm sure you get the point.

I can't imagine how many people have jobs that do not fit the category of "meaningful work." People can adjust and make do but I think it is vital that they find an outlet that meets the meaningful criteria. On Facebook, we all have our place. This is a place managed by us where we have independence. It is also a place where we can be creative. We can do things to make others laugh, bring encouragement, voice opinions, share about God, advocate for social change, whatever one can think of. Finally, the more effort you put into facebook the greater the return. The pages that are viewed the most and get the most comments and discussion going are the ones where the creator puts time, thought, and effort into it. So by spending time on Facebook, my preference, or other social networking sites....there is great opportunity to have "meaningful time." This for many sure beats the hell out of work. So in this sense Facebook is "more than just a playground.

Ongoing Struggles

Nobody ever promised me life would be easy, or I'd get a rose garden for that matter. But this process of sanctification, well, that's a whole different ball game. Being conformed more into the likeness of Christ, jeez...sometimes I wonder if I'll ever graduate from being a self-centered jerk.

Thinking about the gospel and sharing it with others makes me acutely aware of ongoing struggles in my personal life. Struggles with besetting sins and lack of visible personal growth makes me wonder if I have any right to share Jesus Christ with others particularly when my life often seems such a mess.

But as I think of my current sluggishness in my faith, a light bulb went on in my head. Fortunately that happens now and again...lol! How much is my lack of energy, enthusiasm, and current malaise in my life; work, marriage, family, etc. due to my lack of going out and telling others of what God and a personal relationship with His Son can do for them. Being overly concerned with how Christ is or is not working in my own personal life has somehow caused me to take at least from a practical point of view, that Christ may not be worth talking about. This makes me guilty of self-centeredness. This is not only a devastating sin in that it makes me both ineffective in my own personal walk with God, but it also blinds me to what can be a simple and powerful remedy.

Sin and man's own desire to be the master of his own fate, dismiss God as irrelevant, and reject the offer of salvation by placing faith in Christ are the barriers that prevent sinful humans from having a personal relationship with God. These are clear fundamental orthodox principals that people need to hear for them before they can ultimately repent and be brought to faith in Christ. This is great news for those who do wish to see those outside of the household of faith actually be adopted into the family of God. I am among those who like to hear of this great news.

It has been said that, "those who can't do, teach." I don't know how measurable that is but even if it is to a great degree, one can still say what is so bad about that. A baseball hitter who knows about hitting, but can't hit worth a damn, if he can teach others how to hit, does not this give him great reward. And with that great reward does not this give him great enthusiasm and energy to share with others the fundamentals of hitting. Like I said, he still may not hit worth a lick, but is not his life now lifted to a different level and will this spill over and cause positive repercussions in many areas of his life? Just a thought.

I know as I write this much of my struggle with mid-life crap and problems that never seem to let up will continue to be front and center. Demons from the past and the ongoing struggle with being a self-centered jerk is not going away anytime soon. Still, God is. He is there and I can know him and tell others about Him. I can know Him and learn more about Him with the same passion I have with other hobbies. Even if you have no musical ability but have a passion to talk about and listen to something like jazz, will that passion not be contagious and make others who know nothing about jazz, perhaps become jazz enthusiasts because someone like you turned them on?

May a lesson like that be learned by both you and by me even when the difficulties of life and our own sins may drag us down.

Nobody Left Standing

Clearly there is a place for protest and activism among people of faith. When a person's conscience feels convicted to the need to say or do something regarding a particular issue then I commend those who exercise that right in a free society. We have that right under the first amendment and those who use it should be commended for standing up and having the courage to speak their mind.

There are lots of things that may get people off the sidelines and into the action so to speak. Family values are a hot button issue with many folks, particularly church folk, and many of them will voice their opinion when an organization promotes certain things which many may find offensive, indecent, sacreligious, etc. I'm sure many will agree that there are causes that are worth fighting for because they affect them personally. Many mothers who've had children die in automobile accidents may protest advertisements that somehow glamorize alcohol. Parents who may have had a child who is gay may protest information that they believe may incite gay bashing. Citizens who homeschool their children were mobilized greatly to protest legislation that may have made homeschooling practically impossible. The list goes on and on.

One of the things used by protesters is the boycott. An example may be consumers threatening a company by not buying their products because they may be promoting something the offended group may deem inappropriate. This is all well and good and people have every right to do that. I have one observation though for thoughtful educated people who keep up on all the issues of the day. Recently as I was listening to a very opinionated sports radio show following the Super Bowl, one of the hosts mentioned how great Bruce Springsteen was during half time. That comment caused ire with another of the hosts who called Springsteen a "commie pinko, " a remark that made me spill my coffee from laughing out loud. The first host then said, " You have to separate." To this the anti-communist sports host said,"You can't separate." After a brief pause a third host threw his two cents in with this classic and I'll end with it, "You got to separate or their will be nobody left standing."

The Need To Make Things Right

Going to a church where creeds, doctrine, history are important is something I am thankful for. I would have no interest in attending a church that had ambiguous beliefs and is just as much about fluff as it is about substance. But while I have found common ground about theology with those in the church, I find it interesting that when it comes to political ideology, there are differences of opinion in the church of Jesus Christ. It would be one thing if different denominations would sway to particular political positions because of their doctrinal beliefs, having a kind of biblical worldview that would logically follow towards a tendency to fall into a particular ideological camp regarding public policy choices. However, as much as I wish this might be the case, I have discovered that this is not the case at all. In fact, some close friends I have, as well as people i admire and respect have political philosophies that are far removed from the ones I have.

Recently I have been trying to cultivate a look, listen, and learn approach in my dealings with people. It is common for me to listen to a persons ideas and determine what I think of them. This often has left me shaking my head because often after a person has established credibility with me on their reasoning ability they may later take a position that makes me think, "Is he or she kidding me.?" But I am now beginning to understand that their are other factors that cause a person to have a belief, particularly a political one, that may be rooted more in what a person thinks is important that what may be better rooted in sound thinking.

I hope not to be condescending to those who take a approach different from mine and in fact in some ways I feel those who have a different view than mine are in some ways nicer, sweeter, more compassionate people than I am. Let me explain some things. Politically I think the governments main responsibility is to preserve and protect the liberty of the people. More than anything else, I wish for government to establish laws to preserve a civil society, and then do all that it can to make sure the citizenry has the "right to be left alone." Others I know have a different view of the government and that is for it to have a more active role, not just preserving and protecting, but also to try to find a way to make things right in a society that isn't always fair.

These two views were best illustrated to me a few years ago at a party. It was a parent get together that was a year end celebration as our children finished another school year. I am fortunate enough that my children attend a prep school via a scholarship and because of this I get to meet many parents who have careers that pay the kind of wages that are far beyond my imagination. This particular party was hosted by a senior vice president from a very successful company and he had a huge, beautifully decorated home, a great table spread of appetizers, fine wines, imported beers, and he hired people to serve us for the evening. I was there prepared to enjoy myself. A woman friend of mine, who I've known for 5 years while are kids have been in school together, looked around and said to me something like, "How can people live like this, in such wealth and luxury, while others who slave away and work just as hard, struggle just to have a modest home and pay their bills."

I looked at her and noticed how sincere she was. It genuinely pained her that life was full of inequities and she wanted somehow to make things right. This type of thinking never occurs to me. I just think, "Nice house, great life, good for them." I also can see there are stresses and trade-offs to this type of wealth, but I wasn't going to get into it right then. But then it occurred to me from previous conversations that my friend was a "liberal." I've attacked liberalism from many angles and have always felt confident that liberalism is a worldview that is deeply flawed. Later that evening, she brought up the idea that when people get to a certain income level, then they should have to give above that level to charitable causes and give back to the community someway and use their wealth less for themselves and more for the common good. I am terrified of the notion of having government coming into people's lives as some sort of referee, to make sure we have a more just world, a world where we can make things right.

Back to making things right. I have observed from conversations I've had that many people who have this desire to "make things right".... that this desire shapes how they view so many things. If I see a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette while walking down the street, I may think, "What a shame, that woman should really know better." But others who perhaps "care" more than me they just feel that they need to do something about it and find a way to stop it. This can and does have far reaching implications. We must stop fat people from overindulging in saturated fat for their own good, using speech that may hurt people's feelings, you can probably name dozens more. I on the other hand don't think that much about it, I just go about my business and let people be.

I am not saying that these observations are the norm for where people fall on their political ideology. Liberals can be self-righteous and self-promoting. Those more conservative or laissez-faire may be community activists and the most compassionate of do-gooders. But I think my observations deserve consideration. How often when there is a problem coming from Washington do you hear liberals say, "We've got to do something." This is the mantra even when common sense shows that there is really nothing that can be done that will not ultimately make things worse. Others on the other hand can just let things be and live with the fact that life isn't fair. Knowing these facts I think is important while we engage in public debate. Perhaps knowing that what we find important is different may help prevent us from shounting at one another.

My Intense Longing

an intense longing
deep and inescapable
my heart's filled with love

eyes focused outward
creates passion for people
want to know their needs

i'm moving so fast
yet i find time to slow down
people who have needs

this intense longing
as i look at my neighbor
pray that it not be short lived

i see flesh and blood
those who are hurt and have fears
let me be their friend

my intense longing
may this feeling fill my heart
move me to action

living with neighbors
seeing Jesus in others
let my heart be touched

you want to see God?
do you long to touch His face?
see Him in broken people